


Big Red Button

by madyateyourson



Category: Labyrinth (1986)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Dystopia, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Post-Apocalypse, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:01:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 36,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21679465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madyateyourson/pseuds/madyateyourson
Summary: In a world beset by constant war and nuclear tensions, Sarah Williams is forever changed by an incident that occurred in her youth -- the abduction of her half-brother by a secret government department.When Sarah grows up and climbs the military's ranks to the position of Sergeant Major, she finally thinks she might have a shot at tracking Toby down. Yet another nuclear crisis forces her to retreat to a top-secret Silo, partnered with one other person. Her partner? Dr. Jareth King, director of the Future Leadership Program, creator of the mysterious aptitude test, and the man responsible for stealing Toby twelve years prior.
Relationships: Jareth & Sarah Williams, Jareth/Sarah Williams
Comments: 44
Kudos: 60





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hiii everyone. I should probably avoid starting a fic while I'm halfway through another one, but I had to get this plot idea out of my head and into the open. I hope you don't mind. I'll stick to regular updates on "Recognition," as that's my priority, and update this one a bit more slowly.
> 
> For plot's sake, I made Toby and Sarah a bit closer in age (only eight years apart). Same w/ Jareth and Sarah -- though the age gap is still significant, in my opinion (we aren't dealing with immortal fae here). 
> 
> The idea for this is loosely based on the Josh Ritter song "The Temptation of Adam," with the two main characters' roles kind of reversed (i.e. Sarah is the military dude and Jareth is the scientist). It's a good song with great lyrics.

“TOBY!” Sarah Williams began to run, chasing after the grey military-issue vehicle that carried her seven-year-old brother. Robert and Karen stared after her, in shock and aware of the futility of her actions.

“Toby! No, no, no, _no_,” Sarah sank to the ground, in the middle of the road, and began to sob. She bent, her forehead almost touching the asphalt beneath her, before shifting on the ground and rocking back and forth.

“He’s just a _kid.”_ Robert Williams crouched next to her and put his arms around her shoulders.

“Sarah, honey, he’ll be ok. They’ll take care of him.”

Sarah shoved her father’s arms away. “_Who’ll _take care of him, dad? No one knows where the hell they take these kids, what they do to them…not until they’re too old for it to matter.”

Robert’s mouth set in a grim line. “We need to trust in our leaders. In the Program…this is considered an honor, Sarah. Toby scored very high on the aptitude test.”

Sarah scoffed. “That test is a joke. So is the entire Program. Our entire fucking fascist excuse for a _government _–”

Robert cut her off, hastily. “Sarah! Don’t speak like that out here.” He looked around at the other homes, frantically. “Come on – come back inside. It’s getting colder.”

Sarah allowed her father to gently lift her from the ground and walk her to their home. She stepped into the foyer and heard Karen crying, quietly, in the kitchen. She also heard the banging of pots and pans – _good old reliable Karen_, Sarah thought bitterly. _Her son gets stolen by pigs in suits and she starts making dinner._ The normalcy made her sick.

_She _wouldn’t be normal. She’d find a way to get Toby back.

That night, after dinner was eaten and the dishes cleaned and put away, Sarah sat on the floor of her room and began to research.

She knew her father would be worried about the government tracking her internet searches, but Sarah had figured out how to disguise her online activity from a young age. Most of the kids in her generation could do the same. To them, using proxy servers and disguising IP addresses was like second-nature; the result of growing up in a time of constant war and nuclear threat. Geo-blocked websites and IP bans were nothing to children of the apocalypse.

Sarah typed in the first keywords that came to mind – The Program. This led her to general information on the aptitude tests, as well as how to make sure you participated in the mandatory registration of children for the test by their seventh birthday.

That didn’t interest her, so she clicked further until she found an old _New York Times _article describing the development of the test.

**IMPROVEMENT OF MILITARY APTITUDE TEST PROMISES SKILLED NATIONAL LEADERSHIP AND HOPE FOR A SAFER FUTURE**

Sarah scrolled down until her eyes lit upon a name.

“Dr. Jareth King, recent graduate of Columbia University and newly-naturalized American citizen, has developed the Future Leadership Aptitude Test, or FLAT, into its current and final format. Dr. King improved upon former test designs and used his doctoral research relating to DNA projections to add a second component to the Test. Children between the ages of 5 and 7 may now take FLAT in order to assess their future intelligence, physical fitness, problem-solving skills, personality traits, and inclination towards logic. Scores above a 95 will guarantee mandatory enrolment in the Future Leadership Program (FLP) and promise excellent governmental guidance for generations to come. Americans are greatly in Dr. King’s debt. We toast his commitment to efficiency, productivity, and skill!”

Sarah wrote down the name in her small diary, a luxury of bound paper and real ink that few were able to purchase these days.

Her mother had given it to her for her fifteenth birthday; when Sarah asked where Linda found it, she’d laughed her stage-laugh and told Sarah that she’d happened upon it at a small market in London.

Sarah wanted to ask more, but could tell her mother was nervous – Linda was only allowed to travel outside the U.S. because of her status as a famous actress. Regular citizens were hardly allowed to leave _states, _let alone the country. Sarah understood that Linda’s freedom to move and travel was an allowance few were subject to. It was also precarious.

If Linda abused that allowance, spoke ill of the American government, or stopped appearing in the propaganda films that had made her famous, the travel would cease. No more visas to allied countries, no more stories about different accents and languages, no more books that Sarah could feel and hold in her hands.

She’d be left with her standard-issue electronic notebook, subject to governmental surveillance.

Looking up from the name she’d written in her diary, Sarah typed it in the search bar.

She hit the enter key and watched as dozens of articles from defunct magazines and newspapers began to fill her computer screen.

**Dr. Jareth King – savior or Satan?**

**Interview with Jareth King – enigmatic and infamous leader of FLP **

**Stealing children or grooming future leaders? A note on Dr. Jareth King**

Sarah absorbed every article – every interview with the man. She studied his photographs. He seemed pompous and patronizing – exactly the kind of man who would head a department that stole children based on his own definition of talent and aptitude. Sarah hated him – hated his slicked-back blond hair and thin frame.

She’d taken a version of the Test herself, at the age of six. She’d failed it spectacularly; her score one of the lowest in her entire grade. She’d been bullied for it until her parents had gotten divorced and she’d switched schools.

Yet she’d never thought of what could have been, _who_ she could have been – if she’d passed the Test – especially not after seeing the parents of the children that _had _passed the mysterious Test.

Their faces were downcast, grey – their eyes sagged with loss at the same time their mouths turned up in affected smiles. Hearing them speak, you’d never know that they’d never see their children again. Well, they’d see them again. On state TV. When their children grew up and became great American leaders, trained and fostered within the all-important _Program._

Sarah swallowed her laugh of derision. She’d never loved the government, never worshipped at the feet of an arbitrary test, as most people these days did. They said the Program kept them safe – kept the country from being plunged further into nuclear oblivion.

With the right children chosen for leadership, they’d never have to worry about _voting_ an appropriate leader into power, as citizens had done long ago.

No, that had led to disaster. It led to two nuclear bombs being dropped on the American state of Hawaii and the territory of Guam – two large military bases and the targets of maniacal foreign leaders. In the wake of these tragedies, weak and ineffective leadership almost plunged the United States into civil war.

Further bloodshed had been avoided with the country’s first Leader, who’d taken control without public approval and against the wider government’s wishes. He’d been skilled, talented, charismatic, and reassuring. With his guidance, the world was able to foster a fractured and shaky peace – as it had remained for the past fifty years.

Under the First Leader’s tenure, preliminary aptitude tests were created. Yet the current, final form of the Test had only been in use for the past few years or so. With the Test and the Program, lower-level governmental leadership was piped through and directly contributed to a strong, capable governmental body.

Or so the propaganda said. Sarah never fully believed it, but Sarah was different from most of her peers and elders.

Sarah underlined Jareth King’s name three times and kept searching for information about the Program into the night. She searched for locations, place names, classes, schools, _anything_ that would give her a clue as to Toby’s whereabouts and well-being.

Just as she was about to fall asleep from exhaustion, she spied an old blog post from an aspiring journalist. It seemed as though the blog had been launched to reassure readers that the Program was taking care of the children it stole. Sarah rolled her eyes.

She hoped the young journalist received the government contract she must have been looking for. The blog hadn’t been active for almost a decade, but Sarah clicked through anyway.

“At the Program’s headquarters, in a secret location on the West Coast, Sergeant-Major Johnson escorted me to the mess hall. Here, children designated for Leadership played, ate, and talked to one another just as normal children are wont to do. They laughed without a hint of melancholy and socialized with their fellow recruits.

The Sergeant-Major explained to me that, though he had not passed the original aptitude test, his dedication to the American Armed Forces meant that he was able to have access to the Program’s headquarters and able to supervise recruited children in a Leadership-Military meeting of minds and skill.

At the headquarters, SGM Johnson held the immense privilege of testing children’s’ growing abilities on a tri-annual basis. He, along with others of a similar rank, were in charge of final selection for recruits’ placements upon graduation at the age of eighteen.”

Sarah sat up; her eyes were wide. She wondered if Sergeant Majors were still given access to the Program without having passed the aptitude tests themselves.

She settled back down on her bedroom floor, pulling Toby’s old fleece blanket around her shoulders. She yawned, unable to keep her exhaustion at bay any longer. Her last thought, before succumbing to sleep, was what would drive her through the next twelve years.

_I’m going to become a Sergeant Major and find you, Toby._

** _Twelve Years Later_ **

“Sarah – don’t be mad at me, okay?”

Sarah looked to her right at her boyfriend, Riley. She raised her brows and patted at the tight bun on the back of her head, a nervous habit.

“No promises, Ri.”

They were on an Air Force plane, on their way to the military base in San Diego. The military had received word from Leadership that nuclear tensions were higher than they’d been in almost sixty-five years – they’d sent along instructions for high-ranking officers to scatter to top-secret bunkers and bases along the American coasts.

Sarah and Riley were on their way to meet with their military colleagues and establish which locations they’d be sent to.

He shifted closer – as close as their assigned seats on the plane would allow.

“I assigned you to the Silo.”

Sarah jerked forward in her seat and turned to him, fully. “You did not.”

Riley nodded – his eyes held the trademark stubbornness of his she’d come to admire and hate.

“I did. It’s the safest place there is right now and I love you too much –” he paused when Sarah shot him a dark look, aware that the rest of their battalion could probably hear their conversation, seats away. “I _love you_ too much to put you anywhere else.”

Sarah opened her mouth to argue, but Riley cut her off. “I’ve already sent off the instructions and Leadership is going to announce it once we get to Pendleton. Technically I’m your superior as Commanding Sergeant-Major and I’m pulling rank. What I say is final, Sarah.”

Sarah grit her teeth and pulled on her formal army service uniform, another nervous habit.

“Riley,” she began, then looked at the two men sitting in the row behind them and lowered her voice. “You know that I’m still looking for my brother. _How _am I supposed to do that in the Silo? There won’t be more than one other person there – you’re aware of that fact, I’m sure.”

Riley nodded solemnly. “I know, Sare. I know how important finding Toby is to you, but I don’t think right now is the time to deal with that –” Sarah made a noise of protest, but he continued, pushing on. “You won’t find him when Leadership and the military are on lockdown. None of us know how long this’ll last, but the Silo’ll be the best place for you to be while we wait for peace or another war.”

He looked at her, his brown eyes as earnest as always – damn him. “I could never forgive myself if I didn’t put you somewhere that you’d be safe from _anything.”_

Sarah squeezed her eyes shut, feeling a headache of frustration form at the back of her head – or maybe it was tears. She couldn’t really tell anymore.

“Are you going with me?”

Riley shook his head and slid his hand to hold hers. He squeezed it. “I tried to assign myself after I assigned you, but I got word that someone else was already slated to stay there. Probably some Leadership hotshot,” he laughed a bit and continued to hold her hand, patting it with his free one. “Who knows – maybe you’ll be in there with the biggest cheese of them all.”

Sarah didn’t return his laugh. She looked away and out the window, at the drab, beige land they flew above. The pilot announced that they’d begin their descent into San Diego within the next fifteen minutes. “Where will you be, Ri?” She asked, softly.

He continued to smile, but Sarah knew it was fake by looking at his eyes. They were tight. “The new base in Charleston. I’ll be with the rest of our battalion.”

Sarah’s mouth popped open and her jaw hung wide. “Jesus _fucking _Christ, Riley –”

Riley moved his hands up her arms until he gripped her shoulders. His eyes were wide with warning. They slid to the other members of their battalion and Sarah caught his meaning – relaxing and attempting to calm herself.

Once she’d taken a few deep breaths. She opened her mouth again, quieter this time. “Riley,” she began calmly. “You can’t just separate me from _our _entire battalion just because we’re together – because you love me.”

She continued when he didn’t stop her. “I’m not a doll made of glass – I’m a Sergeant Major _just like you_ and I should be with the rest of our unit if the world goes to shit.”

Riley just looked at her, his mouth in a straight line. “You can hate me if you want, Sare. I secured your spot in the Silo and you’ll be there until Leadership says otherwise.”

Sarah turned away. They sat in silence for the rest of the flight.

Once they’d landed and taken the caravan to Camp Pendleton, Sarah felt the hours pass in a daze as military officials across the country described the tense situation, gave predictions for its outcome, and flicked on screens that showed each unit’s and individual’s assigned location during the crisis.

Almost every battalion was together – almost every battalion had its commanding officers along for the crisis. Sarah was one of the only Sergeant Majors separated from her unit. Swallowing shame, she stiffly stood in front of Riley as they said their goodbyes in a small alcove he’d dragged her to.

“Sarah, I know you’re furious with me.” She just stared back. Riley looked around and bent to kiss her – his lips touched hers and Sarah felt nothing. She was so angry she could barely comprehend what was happening. She couldn’t think straight.

She kept thinking about her brother – he’d be nineteen now, and surely placed somewhere in Leadership. Sarah and Riley had been working together to gather intel on Leadership for the past twelve months. She thought they’d been close to finding out where Toby was placed – until this goddamn crisis.

She briefly returned his kiss before pulling back. She fixed him with a dark stare. “I love you and I understand why you did this, but you’re right – I am furious with you. You’d better hope this episode resolves itself quickly, because every day that I’m not with our unit and not looking for Toby is a day I’m going to hold against you.”

Riley swallowed and nodded. He looked down at their joined hands and paused before nodding again. “I’ll see you soon, Sare.” He walked off to their unit’s loading zone.

Sarah gathered her army-issued pack and headed towards her own plane – a small two-engine that would take her to Monterey, the closest town to the Silo.

On the plane, she ignored the pilot’s attempts to make conversation with her until the man gave up and she was able to sit alone with her thoughts. She hardly spared a thought to whoever she’d be sharing the Silo with – her mind kept racing and calculating, trying to guess how long the crisis would last.

She also thought about where her parents would go – she’d hardly listened to the other commanders when they’d discussed civilian placement.

_Where could Toby be? _She knew he’d probably be safe – Leadership got some of the best bunker locations. _It wouldn’t do for our fearless leaders to be blown into oblivion_, she thought to herself.

She stared out the window until the pilot announced that they were about fifty miles to Monterey. She sat up straighter and buckled her seatbelt for their landing.

Once safely on the ground and out of the plane, she gave the pilot a half-hearted salute and turned away, facing the young corporal who’d be taking her the rest of the way to the Silo.

They drove through misty roads and into dark woods. The mist began to clear as they drove further from the ocean, but the day was fading and evening enveloped them.

After two hours of driving, the corporal pulled onto a gravel road and they bumped their way down a small hill.

About ten minutes later, he stopped the engine and got out, grabbing a flashlight and his personal electronic pad.

Sarah joined him outside, pack in hand. He led her to a spot marked by a metal grate, which he lifted easily and placed to the side.

He unscrewed the steel door and gestured inside. “Down here, Sergeant. Your partner is already inside. Once you’re down, I’ll seal the door and cover my tire tracks. No one else should know the location.”

Sarah nodded and hoisted her pack to her left shoulder. She climbed onto the first set of steps and began descending the ladder. The tunnel was dimly lit with small lights interspersed at irregular intervals. When she was about forty feet down, she heard the _slam _of the door close and the screech of the grate sliding into place.

She continued down each rung, losing track of her estimate on how far down she was going. She didn’t look below herself, acutely conscious of her fear of heights and falling.

After about twenty minutes of climbing downwards, Sarah reached the last step. She looked around and turned. A hallway curved at a slight decline, lit by more weak lamps. Sarah followed them.

At the end of the hallway, she reached a door with a scanner. She placed her hand on it and waited as the machine scanned her palm. She felt a prick on her index finger and jerked her hand back.

On the scanner, where her index finger had been, was a small needle, now coated in some of her blood. The sharp point retracted and the machine lit green. Sarah sucked her finger into her mouth.

The door opened, swinging heavily. Sarah stepped forward and assessed her surroundings. It looked like a small foyer – she could hear the faint sound of a running sink and a few clanging dishes, ahead of her.

The door shut behind with a loud slam. The running water stopped.

A voice – accented, male, called from what she assumed was a kitchen.

“Now, just who did they deign pair me with for the end of the world?”

Sarah walked across the foyer and turned right. She indeed saw a kitchen – it was small, but appeared well-stocked.

A man stood at the sink, washing dishes and a small frying pan. Sarah’s eyes moved from his hands to his face – she froze. He was older, but she knew him. She’d recognize his face anywhere. She’d memorized it in bursts and fits of hatred throughout her adolescence.

Standing in front of her – her partner in the Silo, for the foreseeable future – was Dr. Jareth King.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a personal note -- I was living in Honolulu, Hawaii when we had the ballistic missile scare in January 2018 (scariest 38 minutes of my life). I've been sort of fascinated by nuclear war/tensions since then, and I consider this fic a bit of an exploration of what could happen after nuclear engagement.
> 
> Anyway, kudos and comments are appreciated. Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

Sarah could feel wind rushing past her ears; she was light-headed. She hardly knew what to do – what did one do when the man responsible for _stealing their brother_ showed up in a missile silo?

She couldn’t believe he was assigned here…well, it made sense that the man in charge of the all-important leadership program would be assigned to the bunker with the highest clearance. What was quickly making zero sense to Sarah was how Riley had gotten _her _in here. She ranked high, but not _Jareth King_ high.

Dr. King, for his part, was rapidly moving from an expression of vague arrogance to outward disdain. He quickly finished drying the pan and folded the towel neatly.

“Eloquent, aren’t you? Best and brightest of the military, no doubt.” He pushed away from the countertop and stacked a few dishes into a cupboard.

Sarah began to see red – how _dare _he insult her intelligence, especially the first time they met? He hardly knew her. All he knew was that she was military. _He probably doesn’t want to interact with people who didn’t pass his precious test. _

Sarah had worked with Leadership before – it was indeed an important part of her job. The current structure of the American government mandated a partnership between Leadership and the military.

In a basic analysis, barring nuance and ignoring the complexities of the arrangement, it meant a marriage of brains and brawn.

In Sarah’s time within the military, she’d seen that Leadership expected members of the military to be dense linebackers happy to follow just about any order from those who outranked them.

She’d never been content to feed into those expectations; however, it was what she’d often had to do in order to climb as far as she had.

She hated having to defer to Leadership cronies in order to make it to her position. In Sarah’s view, and experience with various leaders, Leadership was little more than a mix of self-serving, self-important, and arrogant pricks.

What pained her the most was the idea that Toby had turned into one of them. If they ever met again, what would he think of her? Would he see her as a tool to be used and then discarded? As just one soldier in a mindless pile of sheep?

This wasn’t to say that Sarah and others in the military possessed zero critical thinking skills or didn’t disagree with Leadership. In fact, Sarah herself had been planning on disobeying Leadership left and right in order to find Toby. After that, she wasn’t too sure what her plans were. Most of her adult life was consumed with locating her brother.

While most of Sarah’s subordinates, and many of Sarah’s peers, were exactly what Leadership wanted from the military – unquestioningly loyal to the government – Sarah had come into contact with a select handful of men and women who hid opposing viewpoints behind a placid exterior. One of those people was her boyfriend, Riley.

Riley was the only person Sarah trusted enough to tell about Toby and her plans to find him. He held his own conflicting opinions – most stemmed from his family’s history as former American politicians.

Riley’s grandfather had been a senator before the first bombs dropped; the rest of his family got sent to re-education camps before Riley’s mother married his father. Her marriage, and subsequent change of her last name, allowed their family to finally blend into society. Sarah supposed that history of his contributed to his sympathy for Sarah’s own hatred of the current government.

Now, here, Sarah was determined to keep herself in check; it wouldn’t do to blow her cover as a rule-player in front of the man that represented everything she hated. She swallowed her overwhelming loathing for the man before responding.

“Not the best and brightest, surely. Yet I’m not so stupid as to not recognize the _leader_ of the _Future Leadership Program. _I suppose I should consider myself lucky to be sharing the Silo with Jareth King.”

She couldn’t keep the sarcasm from her voice. She inclined her head in a mockery of deference; a farcical bow. It made her feel better, this small show of defiance.

Jareth’s brows climbed and his lips quirked, slightly. “The blunt instrument has a voice – what a lovely and poisonous voice it is…you may call me Jareth.”

Sarah wanted to scoff – she wouldn’t be calling him anything. She was determined to avoid him as much as possible. The man was insufferable, just as she’d always thought and imagined. She lifted her chin. “If you’ll excuse me,” she lifted her pack and walked past him, aware that she had not given the man her own name.

\--

Sarah sat in the standard, no-frills cot. She nervously alternated between wringing her hands and picking at her short fingernails.

After she’d found her small room – directly across from Jareth King’s room, of course – she’d immediately torn off her military uniform and headed to the shared bathroom for a shower. Accustomed to short showers, Sarah had washed and dressed herself in new clothing within six minutes.

Putting her trifling number of belongings away hadn’t taken long, either. She’d unpacked a few of her favorite physical books – paperback and thoroughly worn down – as well as her bare assortment of clothing.

Now, as she sat on her bed in casual leggings and a t-shirt, she dreaded going outside and seeing her Silo partner. She’d slowly stood up and contemplated bravely walking through their shared living space, only to sit back down and continue messing with her cuticles.

At once, Sarah made a decision and forced herself to walk towards the door and out of it without thinking too deeply. She’d been starving since she’d landed at Camp Pendleton, hours before. She’d _at least _find a protein bar to eat before she threw in the towel. She wouldn’t let Jareth King keep her from going about her business.

Annoyed at her own cowardice, Sarah walked into the hallway and made it to the kitchen before hearing a voice call from her left. She tensed.

“There’s some halfway palatable spaghetti in the fridge, if you’d like to evaluate my cooking skills.”

She stopped and turned to see Jareth sitting on a small, low couch that looked as though it would be at home in a hospital waiting room. He held a tumbler of what seemed to be whiskey in his left hand.

Sarah raised a brow. “Where did you get that?” She jerked her chin to the alcohol.

Jareth’s smile was wide. Sarah didn’t like the way it made the rest of his face look more handsome. She wanted to slap herself for thinking that. Jareth’s voice snapped her out of the self-flagellation. “I brought it with me – would you like some?”

Sarah scowled at his attempt at friendliness. “I wouldn’t, no. I believe we’re here to do a job, not bond over a bottle of Jameson.”

Jareth’s laugh was delighted – her open hostility didn’t seem to dampen his mood. “I’m not drinking Jameson, my dear, but you _are _correct. We’re here to work, aren’t we?” His expression turned suggestive, making the word _work _seem obscene.

Sarah didn’t answer – just continued to stare him down.

His retained his smile as he lifted the glass to his lips and drank. He put the glass down. “What a very good worker you must be, to have been assigned here.” His eyes were calculating and entirely focused on hers.

Sarah couldn’t control her flinch at the reminder of how she probably _shouldn’t _be here. She didn’t know how Riley had arranged it herself – and she was still pissed about it.

She didn’t want Jareth to catch wind of that. She just raised both brows. “Not as good a worker _nor _as busy as you’ve been over the past decade or so, I’d bet.”

Jareth’s eyes narrowed before he responded. “It’s a rare army rat indeed who knows about me and what I’ve…done…for Leadership.”

Sarah felt a small amount of panic enter her veins; she wondered if she’d somehow blown her cover as a rule-following Sergeant Major. She wasn’t aware that others didn’t _also_ know about Jareth King and his contributions to the Leadership Test.

Then again, she’d accessed that early information about him, all those years ago, from restricted websites under a disguised IP. She’d hate-stalked him since she was fifteen. She felt like an idiot.

An idiot who needed to do some damage control. She fell back on the strategy that never failed to get her out of a tense situation with a self-important man: flirtation.

She casually, slowly – so as to not look affected – moved her long hair over her shoulder. She tracked Jareth’s eyes as they followed the movement before returning to her face. She crossed her arms over her chest – he quickly tracked that too. She smiled with just the barest hint of her straight, white teeth. Jareth looked unsure for a moment.

“_This _army rat only listens to the gossip she hears on her way to the infamous Silo holding Dr. Jareth King.”

She hoped the man was a sort of low-level misogynist who believed women were biologically prone to being chatty gossips, or some bullshit like that. Maybe that would keep him from asking more questions.

Jareth took another sip of his drink and swallowed. He looked down at his feet and back at Sarah. “I’m in charge of taking care of the missile.”

Sarah’s brows furrowed at the rapid change of subject. Yet she caught his line of thought before answering. “Does it need much upkeep?”

He stood and walked past her, taking one last swig of the alcohol, before depositing it in the sink. “Not much, no. It’s been serviced and upgraded within the past year and wasn’t very old technology to begin with.”

Sarah walked in the kitchen after him and opened the fridge. Jareth kept talking. “_You_, my mysterious little Sergeant, are in charge of firing that missile should we receive those orders from the government.”

Sarah nodded, taking the leftover spaghetti from the fridge and setting it on the counter. “Yes, I’m aware. I was briefed before coming here.”

“_Good. _I hope you’re confident enough in our fearless Leadership to push that button without hesitation, if need be.”

Sarah swallowed and looked up at Jareth. His stare was intense; he seemed to be trying to communicate something deeper to her, but she wasn’t sure. He was probably just testing her loyalty, like the prim and proper government worker he was.

She nodded and roughly set about reheating the pasta.

Jareth leaned back against the counter to Sarah’s right as she turned on the burners and stirred the pot.

“You still haven’t told me what your name is.”

Sarah looked at him and rolled her eyes. “I’m _very_ sure that you know what my name is. I’ll bet you looked it up…” she paused for dramatic emphasis and put a finger to her lips. “Either right when you were assigned here or when I changed, earlier.”

Jareth uncrossed his arms and made a show of putting the remaining dishes that were in the drying rack into the cupboard.

He smirked and turned back to her. “When you were changing, truth be told. I got bored, out here all by myself.”

Sarah caught herself about to smile, when she stopped. Was she _flirting _with the man responsible for taking Toby away? And not even faking it to get out of a sticky situation – she was _enjoying _herself. It made her feel ill.

She flipped the burner off on the stove and started shoveling the spaghetti into her bowl. “I’d get used to being by yourself – I’m not here to be your _friend._”

She dropped the pot into the sink, turned the tap on to fill it with some water, and stalked out of the kitchen and down the hall, willing to eat alone in her room rather than share conversation and smiles with Jareth King.

Jareth called to her as she retreated. “I suppose I’ll take the first watch of the night, then?”

Sarah stopped and squeezed her eyes in annoyance. She took a step back and glanced at him over her shoulder. “Wake me up at three.”

Jareth smiled, the edges of his sharp teeth showing. “Looking forward to it, Sarah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try to weave in a bit more info about the current government situation/what happens to the stolen children/etc. in the next chapter. As it stands, I mostly wanted this part of the story to be focused on Sarah and Jareth -- almost as though it were a Beauty and the Beast enemies-to-friends-to-lovers story (while they're in a missile silo). Anyway, reviews and kudos are always fun for me to see :)


	3. Chapter 3

** _Seven years earlier – Dearborn, MI_ **

** **

It had once been called the Islamic Center of America, but that name seemed to mock the building’s current state. It sounded grand – this mosque was anything but.

Toby looked to his right at their instructors, handing out sledgehammers to his classmates from inside a van. Well, he didn’t think they were _actual_ sledgehammers.

All the kids that had gone on this field trip were, like Toby, around twelve years old. They couldn’t be very effective with a twenty-pound tool.

There were a few older children, but no one older than fifteen.

Toby paused. _Sarah had been fifteen, when they put me in the Program. I wonder what she’s doing now…._

He shook his head to dispel those unpleasant thoughts before turning around to grab a sledgehammer and listen to his teachers give instruction for the activity they were setting up.

It was mostly symbolic; there wasn’t much these kids could do to an already-dilapidated former mosque.

That was perhaps the point: in this new world, religions were so irrelevant that children would play in their ruins. In this new order, petty _bedtime stories_ and fairy tales had no place. They could be – _would be_ – destroyed by the children of the future America. Future Leadership.

A belief in God was antithetical to a belief in the State, the nation. It had been the cause of the world’s downfall, decades ago. Religions, ethnicities, race, culture – all were dangerous and relics of the past. The nation, now stronger than ever, would protect and foster its citizens in a way that make-believe deities could not.

So, those in charge of the Future Leadership Program made sure their acolytes saw this antithesis firsthand.

They did this field trip usually by students’ fifth year, to prepare them for the type of thinking encouraged in Leadership.

It also had the added benefit of weeding out children who may still have religious families – who were raised to respect a God, Buddha, some prophet.

Those students would receive some extra tutoring and training once they all made it back to headquarters.

Toby grabbed his sledgehammer and rolled his shoulders. At twelve, he wasn’t a big as he’d like to be – he was also eager to impress his instructors and classmates. He wanted to be the _best _– he wanted to prove that his high score on the Test had been for a reason.

His teachers droned on about _Paying homage to the State_ and _Slaying the demons of old-fashioned thinking. _Toby wanted to get on with it – he wanted to destroy something.

After the adults’ speeches, the children spread out and walked into the multiple buildings that had once made up the Islamic Center in Dearborn, Michigan. Toby tapped his best friend, Oz, on the shoulder and motioned for him to follow.

They made their way to a ground-floor room. It was large and spacious, with a domed ceiling.

Toby and Oz moved towards what looked like the head of this large room. They walked on dirty, old carpet that had once featured a pattern but now was ripped in more places than it was whole.

Oz stopped near an old bookshelf, broken in half but still holding a couple books. Toby watched as Oz slowly took a half-hearted swing at the bottom section of the bookshelf. He stopped.

He looked back at Toby and then at the bookshelf. Stooping down, he slowly picked up a small book, palmed it, and slipped it into his pocket. He looked back at Toby, defiantly, daring him to say something.

They stood like that, for a couple beats, doing nothing.

Toby didn’t say anything. He shrugged. Oz took a swing at the wall to the bookshelf’s right. A chunk of drywall went flying.

Walking to an alcove in the room’s front, Toby looked down and saw a plate engraved with beautiful gold script. He remembered the name for this writing, _calligraphy. _He didn’t know what the language was, though. He supposed it didn’t matter.

But it was really very beautiful – like art. It reminded him of Sarah. She’d always loved art, fairy tales, things like that. For the second time that day, Toby wondered what she was doing.

He wondered what she’d think of _this_.

He didn’t have many clear memories of her, but they often trickled into his consciousness, prompted by seemingly-insignificant daily activities. Toby kicked away the plate with writing on it.

Toby and Oz spent the rest of the afternoon smashing holes into the long-abandoned mosque, along with the other Future Leaders.

Toby didn’t think of Sarah again that day.

** _Present – Near Monterey, CA_ **

** **

Sarah jerked her head from its position on top of her forearms. She wiped away drool from the side of her mouth. _Gross. _

Jareth had woken her up at three in the morning to take the second watch of the night. His gentle hand on her shoulder pissed her off – that anger had kept her awake until the inevitable exhaustion seeped in, prompted by her exhausting flights, time at Camp Pendleton, and eventual discovery of her silo partner the day before.

She had passed out at around five, half on top of the book she’d discretely brought with her – Ursula Le Guin’s _The Left Hand of Darkness. _When they’d handed off the watch, she put it under her shirt and crossed her arms, so that Jareth wouldn’t see.

Even that book – one of her favorite stories – hadn’t been enough to keep her awake. She inwardly cursed at her own weakness. She hadn’t even made it halfway.

Sarah checked the digital clock to her right – it was _eight in the morning. _She’d slept for three hours. _Fuck. _

She briefly wondered if Jareth had been in there. She prayed to every deity she knew that he’d been asleep the whole time.

If he knew she had books, _physical _books, there would be questions. And questions led to trouble, in Sarah’s experience. She wanted to avoid that at all costs. She couldn’t trust him.

Tucking the book into the band of her bra, she stepped out of the small control room – the room that controlled the missile, that is – and into the common area.

She had no fucking luck; Jareth was walking around their shared kitchen _whistling _like he’d woken up to sunshine and birds chirping. Sarah could smell coffee and her mouth watered.

Jareth noticed her in the doorway and gave a winning smile. “Good morning, partner. Have a nice watch?” His eyes seemed to sparkle.

That pissed Sarah off. She felt disgusting and like she’d been hit over the head. “Absolutely wonderful – no one asked me to nuke another sovereign nation.”

She knew she sounded mean, but she found it difficult to care.

Jareth seemed to take her answer seriously, nodding sagely. “That certainly is a blessing.”

Sarah didn’t like that he was better at sarcasm than she was.

She raised a brow and walked over to where she saw the coffee pot, sitting on the counter. “Do we have cream?”

“Powdered, I’m afraid. It’s nasty stuff.” Jareth shrugged and stirred at what looked like oatmeal. He pointed above her head.

Sarah made a noncommittal noise and reached for it, high up in a cabinet. She caught Jareth looking at the hem of her shirt – hiked up from her movements and showing a strip of skin – when she grabbed the powdered cream and her heels touched the floor. She smirked.

Jareth cleared his throat and turned his head away. Sarah finished fixing her coffee and looked in the fridge for eggs – she smiled in triumph when she found a carton.

She cracked a few in a bowl and set about making scrambled eggs. She turned the burners to low and hummed – too softly for Jareth to hear.

She’d almost forgotten about him and her panic from earlier when his voice cut the air.

“So, you like science fiction?”

Sarah’s head turned sharply. She just stared at him. The spatula she’d been holding fell from her hand and onto the counter softly.

Jareth smiled. “I’m a fan of Ursula Le Guin, too. Estraven was my favorite character in all her books.”

Sarah was too caught off guard to really play dumb. She didn’t know why she answered the way she did. “I always wanted to be Genly….explore new worlds….cultures.”

“And be bad at it,” Jareth mocked.

Sarah’s eyes narrowed, she looked away. “He got better….at the end.” She mumbled and trailed off.

Jareth just smiled; it seemed condescending. Sarah _hated _feeling talked down to.

She was usually able to hide it – able to smile at Leadership and swallow her pride in the face of their patronizing looks and words. She was able to be silent with them. Hide her intelligence.

For some reason she found that more difficult with Jareth. She kept speaking.

“I wanted to go to a university….so badly, when I was younger. I wanted to study anthropology. Then my mom laughed at me and told me that universities didn’t exist anymore. At least not for the general public. People like us.”

Jareth’s smile puckered, like he’d tasted something sour. “That realization will crush a child’s dreams….certainly.”

Sarah stirred her eggs a bit in the pan before she remembered something. “You went to Columbia, didn’t you?”

His eyes seemed to freeze and he took a beat to reply. “I did….for my graduate work. I did my undergraduate degree in the former United Kingdom, where I was born.”

He seemed uncomfortable, and that should have pleased Sarah. _Serves him right….the smug prick. _

For some reason, though, she couldn’t find it in her to rub it in, or push any further. She tried for levity.

“Would you say I missed out, then? On the university experience?”

Jareth’s eyes regained some of their vitality. He gave a wry smile. “I think universities missed out on _you._”

Sarah just scoffed. There was a comfortable silence.

Of course Jareth broke it. “I wonder how many books you have in your own personal bookshelf….ones not generally allowed by Leadership, mind.”

Sarah closed her eyes, ready for some disciplinary speech or vague threat.

She was surprised when Jareth delivered neither.

“I wanted to bring my own collection when I got sent here, but didn’t have a chance. Couldn’t really make a decision, either. I’ve always had trouble with being very decisive.” He looked at her expectantly, waiting for an answer.

Sarah had none. She’d lost her voice.

He continued, nonplussed. “What did you manage to smuggle here, my cryptic Sergeant-Major? At least, away from the prying eyes of your electronic pad.”

Her lips set in a line. She _really _didn’t know how to feel about him. He wasn’t anything like the Jareth King she’d created in her head.

Sure, he was arrogant – she’d _known_ he’d have that particular character flaw. She just didn’t know he wouldn’t be a Leadership shill. If she didn’t know any better – hadn’t followed his name for over a decade – she wouldn’t have thought he was Leadership at all, let alone the one responsible for the Test.

She bit the bullet – he knew she owned physical books. So what if he knew which specific ones? They were both stuck in here for the foreseeable future. She didn’t think he’d report her, or something.

“I smuggled _a few_ books here, Jareth.”

He smiled, triumphant. Sarah realized she’d used his first name and cringed inwardly.

He made a motion with his hand, inviting her to continue.

She rolled her eyes. “I brought a book by Kazuo Ishiguro, one by Margaret Atwood, Jane Austen….José Rizal….” She looked up at that last one, knowing his most famous book was very explicitly banned by the government.

Jareth’s eyes widened. He gave a low whistle. Sarah didn’t know what that meant, so she turned off the burners and put her eggs on a plate.

As she moved into the small living room, he spoke again. “Could I borrow one?”

Sarah paused before sitting down with her breakfast and digging in. “Which one?”

Jareth sat in the chair to her left-hand side. His oatmeal was barely touched – Sarah would bet it was cold already.

He took a sip from his coffee before replying. “Noli Me Tángere? I haven’t read it.”

Sarah nodded and got up without another word. Jareth watched her go.

She returned a moment later and plopped the book in his lap, José Rizal’s stoic and handsome face staring back at the two of them.

“Enjoy….I think it’s difficult to see why Leadership banned it so thoroughly. In fact, you’d think they’d love it. At least_ I_thought they would love it, at first.”

She paused, then picked up her line of thought. “I only have an inkling because of my mom’s travels. She became friends with an ASEAN member. She kind of explained the significance and reaction to it, later.”

Jareth just stared at her, seeming to analyze everything she said carefully. It scared her as much as it mildly thrilled her, which she found troubling.

Finally, he nodded. He looked down at his oatmeal – sad and grey. He picked up his spoon and they ate in companionable silence. Eventually, Sarah extracted her Le Guin book from her shirt – to Jareth’s amusement – and Jareth cracked open Rizal.

They read their books until a message notification pinged from the control room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ASEAN -- Association of Southeast Asian Nations 
> 
> A bit more on the state of global affairs next chapter.
> 
> Apologies for typos or anything like that -- I wanted to get this chapter up quickly, since it'd been three months since my last update....
> 
> Thanks to anyone following along & giving this AU a chance!


	4. Chapter 4

** _Twenty years earlier – New Rochelle, NY_ **

** **

Linda moved from the opposite side of the kitchen, frantically opening the oven door while the timer wailed and hors d’oeuvres smoked lightly.

“God damnit,” she whispered.

Sarah giggled. “_Mommy_,” she piped up from the small, round table in the corner. “You swore.”

Linda rolled her eyes and smoothed out her black cocktail dress, glancing at the slightly-burnt crab pinwheels. _They’re still edible_, she thought to herself.

To her left, a roasted chicken and plate of potatoes au gratin sat, hot and fragrant. _Those _weren’t burned at all. Linda was proud of those dishes. If only her mother could see her now. Or her husband.

She mentally rolled her eyes at _that _thought. Fat chance he’d show up tonight.

She got back to work. And delegated. “Sarah, baby, can you help me with the napkins on the dining table?” Linda shooed Sarah out of the kitchen and into the living room.

Sarah obediently got to work folding the red table napkins, but couldn’t stay silent for long. “Mommy,” she called over her shoulder. “Where’s your friend from, again? Can she take me to visit?”

She heard a few pans banging, along with the clatter of silverware. “Eva is from the Philippine state of ASEAN, Sarah. And no – she can’t take you there. It’s heavily militarized and Leadership would _not _let a civilian child go for a vacation….” Sarah heard her mother’s voice trail off.

Sarah sat up, still folding the napkins but craning her head to the side, “What’s militarized mean? And you’re famous mommy. They let _you _go. Why not me?”

Linda walked into the dining room, arms folded. “Militarized is when big men with even bigger guns walk around somewhere like they own the place. You wouldn’t like it. And,” she held up a finger, “Just because I’m in some famous movies doesn’t mean that our government’ll just let my daughter do anything she wants.”

Sarah’s lower lip pulled down. Linda’s face softened. She touched Sarah’s cheek, “You’re my mini-me, baby. Maybe one day I’ll have you pose as me – when I start getting old and crotchety. They won’t even be able to tell the difference,” she winked and Sarah giggled, appeased for now.

Linda got back to preparing for her dinner party. Hosting never came easily to her – she was not a housewife, by any means. Couldn’t hack it, truth be told. Maybe that was why her marriage had failed.

She was hosting a foreign dignitary, two Leadership diplomats, and a military general tonight. Impressing them was crucial to securing her next acting contract with the government.

Linda _needed _that contract. She couldn’t handle the ennui of a divorce – especially an almost-finalized divorce. Robert was shacked up with his former secretary, and Sarah….well, they’d take good care of Sarah.

Linda was looking forward to traveling again. ASEAN was a bit of a hotspot, that was true – yet she heard that the capital was _gorgeous_ during a North American winter. She’d risk the potential violence. It could be exciting, anyway.

If she didn’t clinch this contract and make it to Saigon in the next two months, she’d go insane. Tonight had to be perfect.

Just as she’d arranged the dishes on their warming pans and told Sarah to grab the wine glasses from the cupboard, she heard a knock.

Rolling her shoulders back, she plastered her most winning smile on.

“Sarah, dear,” she called. “Our guests have arrived.”

-

Sarah sat at the dinner table, surrounded by adults. She didn’t really like most of them.

She _did _like her mom’s new friend, Eva. She turned to her left to ask another question.

“Eva,” she started, to get the woman’s attention. Eva smiled down at her.

“Yes, Sarah?”

“In the Philippines, do they ever have a winter? Like here?”

Eva laughed a little, but it wasn’t rude. Sarah _hated _when adults laughed at her, but she knew Eva was good.

“Not a winter like here, but it can get a bit chilly in December and January. And rainy…” she looked to her right, like she was remembering something.

“My grandmother used to say that it _never _got cold in Manila, before the bombs dropped. She used to say that Midnight Mass never made her want to bundle up in a winter jacket.”

“What’s Midnight Mass?”

One of the other adults decided to chime in. “It’s something that _Catholics _– religious fanatics – used to do on their biggest holiday. They’d all file into a big, garish building and drink wine and sing songs.”

That sounded like fun to Sarah. She looked back at Eva, whose smile was now fake. Sarah could always tell when people’s smiles were fake – her mother did it all the time.

“Yes, we don’t have all that in the Philippine state anymore.”

“No, no,” the diplomat laughed heartily. “But you have something almost as bad, my God! Those Buddhist monks run just about everything in ASEAN. You’d think that they’d get rid of all those barbaric religions. Not replace one with the other.”

Sarah was confused. She didn’t know what they were talking about. She spoke up, “What are Buddhist monks?”

Eva cleared her throat to answer, but the other diplomat spoke before she could. “They’re much like our Leadership, sweetie,” the woman’s voice was saccharine. Sarah didn’t like it, but she stayed silent.

The military general cut in, “Like our Leadership….if you all wore yellow robes and begged us to feed you – not the other way around!”

The adults seemed to find that funny. Sarah glanced at Eva, who still smiled but didn’t laugh with them.

She seemed to wait until the other adults had moved on to other topics before turning to Sarah and saying, quietly, “Religion is not something that your nation and mine tend to agree on, dear. Our monks _do_ have a very similar role to play as your Leadership. I would think of them as the same….we all worship something, I’m afraid.”

Sarah wanted to ask what that meant, but Linda stood up and announced the end of dinner. They were all supposed to head to the sitting room for more drinks and games.

Except Sarah – Linda said that Robert was coming to pick her up. But Sarah didn’t want to go – she wanted to keep speaking to Eva. Linda gave her a look that brooked no argument and herded her to the hallway.

Sarah was glad to see that Eva followed. She went into the hall closet to grab a bag. She looked to Linda, who just rolled her eyes and nodded.

From her bag, Eva extracted a small, paperback book. Sarah almost squealed in delight, but Linda shushed her before she could.

  
  
Eva smiled. “I heard that you enjoy reading….unfortunately, your Leadership does not allow this book on your electronic pads. Neither does mine. But this book is very special to me and others from the Philippine state.”

She handed it to Sarah, who took it gratefully.

Eva spoke again, “I heard that you just turned seven, yes?” Sarah nodded.

“Well, don’t feel the need to completely understand that,” she gestured to the book in Sarah’s hands, “just yet. Either way, I do hope we meet again, Sarah.”

She said her goodbyes to Eva and gave Linda a kiss on the cheek. Just as she opened the door to meet Robert and head to her dad’s house, she looked down at the book in her hands. A man’s face stared back at her, in black and white. She read the title: _Noli Me Tángere._

She tucked it into her jacket and walked down the steps.

** _Present – Near Monterey, CA_ **

** **

Sarah looked up at Jareth when the noise went off. He looked back and raised a brow.

She got up, setting her book face-down on the coffee table, and headed to the command room. She heard Jareth follow.

She crossed the threshold, hoping to high heaven that it wasn’t a command from her superiors to fire the missile somewhere.

She closed her eyes briefly and clicked on the encrypted message. She quickly typed in her military passcode.

It wasn’t a nuclear command.

It was a message that should _not _have been sent.

Her eyes widened and she looked sidelong at Jareth. He took a moment to read the message and then his face seemed to compose itself.

It was a message from Riley. She’d kill him. He was always the one telling her that they needed to be discreet, and here he was sending a message to the _command room _computer. She’d absolutely kill him.

_I miss you, baby. Hope you’re not still mad at me and that you’re all right. Got word about who’s in the Silo with you – be strong for me & T. -R_

She read it one more time and closed the window before cringing. She took a quick breath before she turned again to face Jareth…..he was gone, though.

She turned fully and followed him out into the common area, ready to explain the message.

“Jareth, I…that message um. It was from…” she trailed off but kept going, feeling like a gaping fish.

“It was from….from uh, someone I know but it’s fine,” she looked wildly around the room, as though others were there to listen to her. “It uh, was….it wasn’t inappropriate,” she finished. She had been babbling and Jareth was just staring at her and the room was filling with….

Laughter.

He was laughing. At her. So hard he bent over to catch his breath.

Sarah was still afraid – Sergeant Majors were _not _allowed to date, fraternize, whatever. _Especially _not if they commanded the same battalion. This could be bad.

She supposed Jareth didn’t know it was Riley who had sent the message, though “R” was quite clear. He could look it up easily. Yeah, she was still afraid.

And quickly becoming annoyed at Jareth’s reaction. _What the hell is his problem? _He should be _questioning _her – not _laughing. _He should be angry – or something.

Her mind was scrambled, with lack of sleep or fear or annoyance, she wasn’t sure.

She just stared at him while he wiped at his eyes and calmed down. Then he glanced at her, seeming almost surprised she was still there.

“My dear, you don’t need to worry about _whatever _it is that I just saw. In fact,” he paused and smiled – Sarah didn’t like where this was going. “I’ll be sure to make myself scarce for the next little while so that you can….send a _private _message back.”

Sarah sputtered while Jareth kept smiling, patiently.

“You don’t need to make yourself _scarce –_ I’m not sending _anything _back. It wasn’t inappropriate at _all _–”

Jareth cut her off. “Oh, I have no doubt that whoever sent that message should not have. I also have no doubt that this person is military and, I’d wager, very high up.”

He kept going when Sarah was silent. “And that would, indeed, make the message inappropriate, Sarah. According to your military rules. But,” he waved his hand casually. “As I said, I don’t care. You can send a message back, pictures, a video, whatever.”

Sarah just gasped and yelled “_God!” _Jareth laughed again and walked into his quarters.

She stood there, not really knowing what to do. She wouldn’t answer Riley – she was too angry with him. Mostly for the message, but she was still pissed about getting sent to the Silo without her own say-so.

Why had he been so stupid? He had to have known that Jareth would see the message, too. He even _mentioned _Jareth. What the hell.

She kept standing and Jareth exited his room, in some kind of hazmat-looking suit. Sarah looked up and raised both her brows. “What are you…doing?”

Jareth raised his back, “I’m conducting diagnostic tests on the missile – I wasn’t kidding. Take your time with whoever sent the message. I won’t peek,” he said this part jauntily, with just a hint of innuendo. It embarrassed her further.

She opened and closed her fists a few times before replying. “Okay, yeah….I’m not responding, like I said, but uh, have fun with the missile.”

Jareth gave her a little salute and Sarah flinched. He walked past her, through a door to the far right, and she was alone.

She let out a groan of frustration and looked at their abandoned books on the coffee table and the loveseat. Things had been _nice _earlier.

That was dangerous – _he _was dangerous. He implied that he wouldn’t report her; that could be true. He may not care about the fraternization or the books but…at the end of the day, he was one of the highest members of Leadership.

He was responsible for what they’d done to Toby. She didn’t know the exact details, but whatever he’d done at Columbia had just solidified that infernal Test and led to her brother being taken away.

She couldn’t forget that.

Feeling restless and high-strung, Sarah walked into her room, grabbed a sports bra, and a pair of running shoes.

She knew the Silo had some kind of gym on a lower floor; it was time to explore a bit.

-

Later that evening, Sarah showered and pulled on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt.

She felt marginally better after her workout and hadn’t seen Jareth in hours. Heading to the lower levels of the Silo made the space seem a bit less constricting; that had helped her forget about the message Riley sent, earlier.

She wasn’t looking forward to dinner.

Walking out of her room, she did a quick scan of the common room and kitchen. Still no sign of him.

She walked further and opened the fridge. Then she looked in the pantry. She grabbed a bag of lentils and a can of crushed tomatoes, deciding on soup.

As she began chopping garlic and onions, she saw Jareth come out of his own room. He just smirked at her as he walked into the kitchen and grabbed a water bottle from the fridge.

She decided to break the silence. “I’m making lentil soup, if you want some.”

He paused and nodded, calling over his shoulder as he walked to the sitting area, “I’ll clean up.”

Sarah finished the soup in under an hour – they both sat down at the tiny table pushed in the corner of the living room.

They didn’t speak – past Jareth’s compliment of her cooking – and it was slightly uncomfortable.

Finally, Jareth looked up from his bowl and sat back. “I have one question.”

Sarah sat back as well. “Okay, what’s your question?”

“Who is T?”

Sarah drew her brows together, confused for a moment. Then she remembered Riley’s message. _Be strong for me & T._

She really would murder him.

She felt like playing dumb – to be honest she had no other option. Her mind was blank.

“T…?” Her voice sounded fake and silly even to her own ears. It was too high, mousey.

Jareth laughed, just a huff – he didn’t seem very amused.

“Yes, T – from the message you received this morning.”

Sarah just widened her eyes and shook her head. “Maybe you read it too fast–”

Jareth interrupted her. “I don’t think so.”

Neither of them said anything before Jareth sighed and closed his eyes.

“I meant it when I said that I don’t care about whatever relationship you may have with your peers in the military, Sarah. I just want to know about _you._”

Sarah still didn’t answer – too afraid to incriminate herself and Toby.

Jareth picked up his spoon and looked to the side, seemingly lost in thought. “I was thinking that maybe you had a child…”

Sarah couldn’t help a small giggle at that. Jareth looked up, sharply.

She spoke quickly. “I don’t have any children. T is…T is my brother.”

Jareth just looked at her – that calculating look she was starting to become used to. He searched her eyes for a beat and nodded, going back to his soup.

Things seemed to reach a sense of calm, after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone ever hear of Buddhist nationalists? It's a significant issue in Myanmar -- Thailand, too. Interesting stuff. Not your typical peace-loving image of a monk.
> 
> You can probably guess that I'm interested in nationalism, here. Post-apocalyptic nationalism, that is. I hope to show different strains -- religious, ethnic, civic, cultural, etc. 
> 
> Shoutout to TheWordMasterofFiction for that comment, earlier. Definitely gave me the inspiration to finish this chapter so quickly!
> 
> As always, thanks to anyone reading. & everyone stay healthy!


	5. Chapter 5

** _Present – Near Monterey, CA_ **

** **

Sarah was giggling too much – she was drunk. She could feel it now.

Jareth wasn’t even that funny. She sounded like an idiot.

Slowly, because she’d _very _suddenly realized the effects of the alcohol in her system, she stood up to use the shared bathroom between their quarters.

When she came back, Jareth was setting up a game on the floor in the sitting room. _How the hell did he manage to bring so much stuff with him? Did he have more warning than I did?_

“What…” she paused to sit down, ungracefully, “is that?” She grabbed her drink from the coffee table.

Jareth took a sip of his own liquor – an additional item he’d brought to the Silo – and tossed a velvet bag to Sarah. “This is travel Scrabble, my dear. I hope you brought a dictionary with you. Along with the banned novels, of course.”

Sarah laughed. “I would never bring something that useless with me.”

Jareth gave her a smirk. “You have no respect for the English language.”

She inclined her head in an inelegant bow and shifted closer to take a look at the game. She’d never played Scrabble – her family wasn’t much for board games – but this thing looked _ancient. _

She wanted to ask how old it was, but Jareth was speaking, giving her the rules. She half-listened but nodded her head along with him.

If she were being honest, she was mostly just staring at him. The way his hands were moving slightly as he spoke, and his lips…she wanted to kiss him.

Jesus, she needed to sober up a bit.

Jareth cut into her thoughts, “You’re not listening to me, and that’s all right. I’ll be the one laughing at the end of this when I collect my prize.”

Sarah was interested in that last part. “What prize?”

Jareth’s eyes widened and he grinned. “Oh? Now you want to listen? It’s too bad then, that I won’t tell you.”

She rose up to her knees to get some height over him, “Hey! We can’t play a game with a _prize _at the end without one of us knowing what the prize _is _– come off it and tell me.”

He just shook his head solemnly and reached into the bag to take out his own tiles. Sarah sat back down.

“It’s not fair,” she said petulantly.

Jareth chuckled and placed the bag in front of her. “Choose seven, Sarah.”

She did as he asked and realized she was genuinely having a good time. She wondered when she started to _like _Jareth.

Reflecting back on the few days they’d been in here, she supposed she’d been doomed from the start.

** _Thirteen hours earlier_ **

** **

Sarah woke at eight in the morning and stretched.

Last night she’d had the first watch and passed the time drawing diagrams of the Silo – its rooms, doors, potential exits – and circling areas that she didn’t know as well, yet.

At three, she’d gone into Jareth’s room and touched his shoulder; he shot up within a millisecond, mildly scaring her.

Once he’d realized it was Sarah, he’d smiled and patted her hand that was still on his shoulder.

Sarah quickly took her hand back, like it had been burned.

She tried not to think about how soft his hair looked – she _definitely_ didn’t look down and see what he wore to bed.

She walked out of the room without a second glance.

Getting into her own bed, she blocked out any incriminating thoughts and willed herself into sleep for the next five hours.

Now, awake and out of the bathroom, she went into the kitchen to start the coffee.

Of course it was already done. She didn’t think Jareth slept. The past couple of days, she’d been taking a nap in the afternoon to make up for the meagre five hours they got between their watches in the command room.

Jareth never napped.

It not only made her feel lazy and inadequate – she’d been teased for her ability to sleep nine or more hours a night since she was little – it somewhat concerned her.

It was mostly concerning because Jareth didn’t show any signs of _needing _sleep. He was usually chipper, always alert – no matter what.

She certainly envied whatever non-sleeping abilities he possessed.

Sarah poured a cup of coffee and walked into the control room; she couldn’t find Jareth in the sitting room. She also didn’t think he’d be in the lower levels – he hadn’t ventured there yet, to her knowledge.

She found him sitting in front of the computer, looking at the diagrams she’d drawn the night before.

“These are quite good,” he said, by way of greeting.

“Well I hope so – accuracy would be the point,” Sarah sat down next to him and looked into his coffee cup – it was already empty.

Jareth scoffed and raised his gaze from her drawings, “Do you always respond to compliments with cheek?”

She hummed and decided to give another flippant answer. “Only when the compliments come from you, I think.”

He smiled, evidently dropping the subject, and got up. “How do you feel about pastries?”

Sarah sat, watching him go. “Pastries?” She stood up and followed him.

“Yes, pastries. Buttery, flaky, delicious – a _proper _breakfast food.”

“I didn’t think we had any pastries in here, Jareth.” She crossed her arms over her chest.

He came to a stop near the little half-wall that separated the sitting room from the kitchen. “We don’t – you are correct. _But,_” he raised a finger. “We have butter, salt, yeast, flour – all those things. The butter won’t stay fresh forever – not if we’re in here too long.”

Sarah narrowed her eyes. “Are you saying that we should make pastries _from scratch_? That’s insanely difficult.”

Jareth rolled his eyes. “Not difficult – maybe time-consuming, though. We’re intelligent people, so I think we’ll manage. I even brought a recipe for croissants.”

“You brought a recipe? Did you _plan_ to make croissants in a missile silo?”

He made a noncommittal noise but replied when Sarah gave him an incredulous look. “Well, I didn’t know who would be in here with me. What if you were incredibly boring? Illiterate? What else would I do?”

_What? _She just shook her head and widened her eyes. “You said the other night that you have issues with being decisive….you _decided _to bring a pastry recipe here? Did you bring an entire cookbook?”

“No, no,” he waved his hand. “That would be ridiculous.” Then he turned on his heel and walked to his room. Sarah stood and waited.

He came back and held what looked like a few standard pieces of paper, held together by staples. “I printed this out from an old cooking website – a recipe _blog_. There were internet sites, written by private citizens, before the bombs dropped –”

Sarah held up a hand. “I know what a blog was.”

She looked down at the sheets of paper he’d tossed to her. She flipped to the back. “This recipe says it takes thirteen hours total, Jareth. That’s insane.”

“Are you going somewhere?” He raised both his brows.

“No, I’m not going anywhere. But this is nuts – I won’t help you. I can’t support making something with this many steps. There must be almost twenty pages here Jareth!” She waved the packet at him.

“Hmm….well, I’m a terrible cook. I can’t do it without you.”

“You _just _said that you didn’t know who else would end up in here before this fiasco. What if I’d been a terrible cook as well?”

He just looked to the ceiling and crossed his own arms. “Well, I suppose I’d have to become a _better _cook.”

Sarah threw the recipe on the counter and began pulling out flour and yeast from the pantry. “We’re not making those fucking croissants, but we can make bread. Will that work?”

Jareth leaned against the wall and made a huffing noise. “All right. That will be satisfactory, yes.”

It was a beat before they both smiled at one another and got to work on the bread.

** _Present_ **

That bread had been _good. _It was an old recipe Karen instilled in her, years ago. Sweet, buttery, soft – Sarah’s mouth watered again thinking about it.

They’d eaten the entire loaf together, like animals. Neither had much impulse control, it seemed.

Her thoughts shifted back to the present moment as she placed her tiles on the small travel board.

“Hmm, there.” She took another sip from her glass.

Jareth let out a loud laugh; Sarah looked up, confused. “Sarah, my precious darling, _what _did you just try to spell?”

She looked back down at the board. She’d wanted to spell “tree” – it was _there_….or not.

She’d spelled out “tre.” _Damn_.

Jareth was still laughing, and gently reached over to her to take the glass from her hands. “I think we’re going to have to switch this out with water if I want a cognizant scrabble opponent.”

She had to agree. She was getting a bit past buzzed, at this point. She nodded her head and slowly stood up again to grab a glass of water.

Jareth raised his arms up, as if he’d need to catch her. She scoffed and moved past him, lightly slapping his hands.

Returning with her glass of water, she shook her head at the board. Jareth was sweeping the floor with her.

Which, oddly, didn’t bother her. She usually got super competitive about these things, but Jareth was just making it fun.

Or maybe she was too drunk to care. Either option suited her.

She felt a measure of fatigue overtake her, and followed the instinct to lay down. She heard Jareth’s voice above her.

“Sarah, we’re almost done with the game. Unless you’ve surrendered to my superior vocabulary and strategic skills?”

She just blew air out of her nose, too tired to laugh. “I surrender the game that was fixed to begin with.”

“_Fixed_? What a hefty accusation to be leveling against someone who not only played fairly, but is your only hope of making it to bed in your state.”

“I’m _fine_ – I can get into bed just fine – you’re exaggerating. You only want your _prize_, whatever that is.”

Jareth laughed softly above her. “We can call in that prize you owe me at a later date, Sergeant.”

“How generous of you, arranging a blank check for yourself.”

She thought she felt him touch her hair, but when she moved her head, his hand was a few inches away.

She looked up and stared at the ceiling. “I don’t think I can take the first watch.”

Jareth laughed again and got up. “No, I think you can…skip…the watch tonight. I’ll have to keep a better eye on your drinking in the future.”

She closed her eyes. “I haven’t had a drink in a long time.”

After a second, she heard him place their glasses in the sink and walk back over to her.

“Up,” he said, and Sarah felt his hands going under her shoulders.

She made a noise that sounded like _hnnng_ and got up the rest of the way without his assistance. He still hovered over her, though.

She was standing very close to him and looked up – their eyes met for longer than was probably necessary. She looked away.

He kept hovering next to her as she walked to the bathroom and stood outside while she brushed her teeth.

When she walked out, he gave her an inquiring glance. She just waved her arm at him and walked into her quarters, not caring if he followed and not shutting her door.

She put her hands at her waist, about to peel off the leggings she was wearing, but was too lazy and tired and drunk to contemplate putting her pajamas on.

He was still standing at the door. “Come here,” she held her hand out to him. He seemed to be struggling with what to do, balanced between staying and going, over the threshold.

He walked towards her soundlessly and sat where she gestured, on the side of her bed.

She lifted the blanket and got in and grabbed his hand. “You can lay down too, you know.”

He did. She wanted to put her hands in his hair and kiss him, but she was so damn tired.

She fell asleep before she could act, her hand falling to her side, next to Jareth.

\--

She woke up, still slightly drunk, to Jareth shaking her awake.

“_Sarah – _Sarah, wake up.”

She sat up a bit; he grabbed her shoulders.

“There are people trying to get in, right now. They’re not friendly. I saw guns.”

She was confused. People were trying to get into the _Silo_?

“Huh? In here?”

He blew air out of his nose. “_Yes_ – they’re going to be able to get in. They’re military – I saw the car in the security camera, before they disabled it. We need to _move_ before they get through the door.”

She felt cold realization slide down her spine. This was real – they had to get going. Now that she was awake, she could hear faint noises coming from her left-hand side, echoing – past the kitchen.

She had no idea why military would be trying to get in here without telling them first.

She jumped out of bed and began throwing things into her duffle bag. She laced up her shoes and tied her hair up in under a minute.

Thank god she hadn’t changed into pajamas before going to sleep.

Now a bit dizzy, she looked at Jareth. “Do you have my diagrams from the control room?”

He nodded and went into the hallway, where his own bag was packed. He grabbed the drawings and gave them to her, along with a bottle of ibuprofen. She looked at him gratefully and dry-swallowed two.

“I think our best bet would be to exit out where the missile is pointed.”

She looked at him, sharply. She agreed. “The closest entrance to the missile is on this floor – I don’t want whoever is out there to guess where we went and get to it.”

“I can melt the handle to the wall – but it might take a few minutes.”

Sarah thought quickly and dropped to the ground, feeling under the bed. She grabbed her gun and loaded it, turning off the safety.

“I’ll keep an eye on the door and make sure they stay away. Once you’ve melted the door, yell at me and we’ll head downstairs.”

Jareth grabbed her bag and his; he ran out of the room and Sarah followed. She watched as he threw some protein bars and water bottles in her duffle.

He walked to the stairs and called over his shoulder. “I’m going to throw these near the exit below – be right back.”

She nodded and trained her eyes on the door by the kitchen. The noises were faint, but growing louder. She figured they’d be able to get in eventually, but had _no _idea how much time they had left.

Jareth jogged back a minute later, carrying a blowtorch. He had gloves on, too.

He got to work on the metal door on the far side of the sitting room. Sarah tried to listen for the door in front of her.

It was an agonizing handful of minutes – it felt like hours. The noises were getting much, much louder. She figured they were right behind the big kitchen door.

Finally, she heard Jareth yell for her and she ran with him down the stairs and to the bottom floor. She flicked the safety and tucked her gun into the back of her leggings.

They grabbed their bags and walked through the second door to where the missile was housed. She heard a crashing noise but Jareth grabbed her hand and pulled her through.

Before they started climbing, Jareth used a wrench to bolt the door. It wouldn’t do much, but it might buy them some time.

They both threw their bags over their shoulders and began ascending the stairs. The silo was built into the side of a hill – they wouldn’t have to climb as many stairs as they had when they’d arrived – the missile’s exit was designed to be shorter, quicker. Sarah sent a prayer of thanks out, for that.

When they were a little more than halfway up, she heard banging and looked down to the small viewing port on the door they’d used – a few men in black tactical gear were trying to get through.

She wondered if she knew these guys – why they were trying to break into the Silo. The tactical gear wasn’t a good sign.

She climbed faster.

About three-fourths of the way, she looked back down. The men were using something to barrel down the door.

They were almost there – she could see the exit. It was still dark; Jareth must have woken her up at three or four in the morning. She heard another crash and looked down.

The men were pushing the door – knocked off its hinges – so they could get to the landing and climb after them.

In a group of about seven men, there was one she recognized.

It was Riley.


	6. Chapter 6

** _Thirty years earlier – London, former United Kingdom_ **

** **

Jareth pushed his way through the food bank queue, elbowing adults to get towards the front.

The Vauxhall food bank wasn’t always the most well-stocked, but it was the closest to the warehouse he and the other children were sleeping in, these days.

He had to grab lunch and dinner for Lou and Dee before all of the Lambeth area closed, under military curfew. They wouldn’t go hungry another night; Jareth was determined to keep that promise.

Both kids had been right behind him a moment ago, but he’d told Lou to watch Dee while he attempted to secure their meals before the food ran out. Going to the front was easier by himself, anyway.

A couple of disgruntled adults made comments but Jareth ignored them; they were more bark than bite and, if it came down to it, Jareth wasn’t above throwing a punch for the last tin of beans. He’d certainly done it before.

He gave the kind, elderly woman at the front his most charming smile and handed her his youth identification card. It wasn’t really his – he’d stolen it from some poor sop years ago. It wasn’t as though he’d had a choice. He needed the ID to eat and help feed his friends.

Jareth, along with Lou and Dee, suffered the twin tragedies of being homeless _and_ stateless. Technically, they – along with thousands of other children in this failed country – didn’t exist. Not administratively, anyway.

Many were abandoned, orphaned, or had slipped through the bureaucratic cracks. Most had zero form of identification and were forced to steal food and necessities to survive.

The woman running the food bank gave his identification card a cursory glance and nodded.

“How many in your household?”

“Ah, three, ma’am.” He tried to play up the politeness factor. Sometimes he could weasel an extra loaf of bread that way.

She turned from him and began loading things into a cardboard box.

Suddenly, Jareth felt a shove from his right and a man yelled in his direction.

“Oi! Get the hell out of here, kid. We’ve been waiting nearly an hour!”

Jareth feigned ignorance and just shrugged. He winced when he saw Lou coming up to his side, along with Dee. Lou was difficult to miss; she attracted the angry man’s attention.

“You lot ought to fuck off before we enforce some of our citizen-rights.”

A few murmurs of agreement in the crowd did not comfort Jareth. He glanced at the woman packing their food, willing her to hurry as much as possible.

Lou couldn’t keep her head down, of course. “Piss off, old man.” She curled her large hands into fists to emphasize her point.

The old man shouted a word that Jareth had heard once or twice – it wasn’t complimentary – and further drew attention to the children.

If the crowd paid too much attention to the old man and his insults, it would bring _very _unwanted scrutiny to Jareth and his friends. Lou, especially, couldn’t afford the extra attention – her ethnic background made her a particularly easy target.

Jareth didn’t want to get into another fight if he didn’t have to.

Finally, the woman at the front handed Jareth his box and he turned, weaving through the crowd as quickly as possible. Lou and Dee followed behind.

Once they’d exited the food bank and walked up to Jonathan Street, Jareth turned around to face the other children.

“_Don’t _do that again, Lou. I can only help you two so much when you _invite_ attacks like that.”

Lou shrugged her shoulders and rolled her eyes. “Relax, Jareth. Dee was whining so I went to check up on you. It turned out all right.”

Dee piped up, “I wasn’t whining, you guys! I was just asking a question.”

“A stupid question,” Lou cut in.

Jareth turned again and kept walking towards their warehouse.

“I think I’m going to break into Imperial tomorrow and steal some of the fancy rich kid food.”

He stopped. Lou would get them all killed.

“You’re not doing that. I’ll get us something from Wadebridge’s food bank if you’re that hungry.”

Lou wasn’t having it. “I’m tired of eating pig shit, Jareth. I want something _decadent_ and those universities have some of the best food. If we keep eating everything tinned, I’m going to start eating your books as payback.”

Jareth put the box down to open the door. Lou was partially right – he could really go for a pastry, truth be told. “I’m older than the two of you and I’ll figure it out, Lou…” he trailed off, thinking.

Before she could interrupt him, Jareth’s eyes lit up with an idea.

“Wait – I know what I can do…I’ll _pretend _to be a university student and steal the food that way.”

Both Lou and Dee were silent a moment before they burst out in laughter. Jareth narrowed his eyes, offended.

“I’m not joking.”

Dee stopped laughing first. His small voice rang clear through the warehouse. “Jareth, you’re as dirty and skinny as we are. They won’t believe that you’re a university student.”

Jareth scoffed. “I can be posh, Dee.”

Lou guffawed and bent over. “Posh! Could you imagine? Fat chance of that, Jareth. I think we should stick with my plan. Some good, honest stealing. In and out. They won’t know what hit them – _and _we’ll have chocolate for dinner.”

Dee almost swooned at the thought.

Jareth walked to the corner where he usually slept and rifled around. He pushed past a stack of stolen books and grabbed at a heap of clothing. He came back with an old blazer and pair of dark-wash jeans.

“I found these the other day near the community centre – this could work. I’m serious….I’m fifteen, now. That’s basically university-age. I think I could pass for even older, in this outfit.”

Lou gave the clothes a shrewd glance. She nodded. “Okay, you might be right. How will you get in, though? The university students have IDs, too.”

“I’ll pretend I lost mine. If I wait outside one of their residence halls, maybe one of them will let me in.”

Dee jumped up and down excitedly. He kept repeating _chocolate for dinner – chocolate for dinner _in a stuffy, affected accent.

\--

The next day found Jareth wearing his borrowed clothing and an inordinate amount of hair product.

Lou and Dee had taken him to the nearby citizen apartments to break into their lobby and use the washroom for some clean-up.

He’d cleaned up well, truth be told. He hadn’t seen his reflection in a while, but the tamed hair and blazer made him look much older…even sophisticated. The look was growing on him.

If only he could look like this – _be _like this – every day. He knew he was intelligent – why couldn’t he play the sophisticate full-time? He was so tired of stealing and sleeping in a warehouse...

Now, he was waiting outside of an Imperial College residence hall. A young woman walked past him and slid a keycard into a port on the far right.

Jareth plastered a harried and sincere look on his face before jogging up to her.

“Excuse me, miss. I’m so terribly sorry, but I’ve lost my access card.”

The young woman smiled back and lifted one of her shoulders, uncaring. “It’s no problem – I’ll just swipe you in.”

Jareth smiled gratefully. _This _residence hall connected to other buildings in the South Kensington campus – Lou and Dee had checked.

Apparently, the faculty of bioengineering was hosting some sort of event that day. He’d check there first for food – if he had no luck, he’d move on to the residence hall kitchens.

He walked into the hallway and glanced at the visitor information panel. Entering the elevator, he selected level 4 and waited.

Once the doors slid open, Jareth found himself in an empty hallway. He figured the area would be crowded, especially since there was supposed to be a student event that day. The silence struck him as odd.

He walked further until he found a wide conference room. It was also empty – save for a few tables pushed towards the far side.

The tables were laden with food – sandwiches, fruits, croissants, and _chocolate._ He didn’t know where to start.

Jareth was almost giddy, but strove not to show it outwardly. He walked forward, calmly, into the room.

He heard a soft, feminine voice behind him. The accent was American.

“Who are you?”

He froze. Then turned.

Standing against the threshold was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. She looked about thirty years old. She was around his height, slender, and had curled red hair.

She just looked…_expensive. _The clothes she wore, her jewelry, the way she carried herself. She was truly elegant. Jareth felt horrifically shabby in comparison.

He struggled to find his voice. “Hello ma – madam, I’m…Jareth. I’m a…” he struggled to remember the faculty he was currently in. “I’m a bioengineering student.”

She pushed off the wall and came closer. “That’s interesting…I’m the director of the bioengineering faculty. I don’t believe we’ve met.”

Jareth cringed inwardly, but tried not to let it show. “Oh – my apologies. I suppose I haven’t introduced myself.”

She smirked. She didn’t believe him and they both knew it. She got closer – so close that Jareth could smell her perfume.

“You smell like the streets,” she said. Jareth didn’t answer – he was frozen.

She stepped back a bit, letting him breathe. “Still, you don’t seem entirely stupid. You look clever. There’s an awareness in your eyes – they’re quite unusual, by the way,” she paused.

“But you’re not a student – that much I can tell. How old are you, Jareth?”

“Fifteen,” he said. He didn’t know why he told her the truth.

“So you _are _clever – I wonder how you got in here…” Jareth thought she expected an answer, but realized that she’d been speaking rhetorically when she spoke again.

“Where are your parents, Jareth?”

Again, he told the truth. “They aren’t alive.”

She looked him up and down, assessing. She cocked her head to the side. “Would you like to go to school?”

Jareth nodded.

“If you help me with my research…for American Leadership, mind you – we may be able to come to an agreement. It wouldn’t be anything very advanced…” she trailed off.

She spoke again. “In all honesty, this country’s labor laws are an absolute joke, and it’s on the brink of war half the time, but I need an assistant that won’t attract the university’s or government’s attention. I’ll pay you a bit, and make sure you get an education, but it won’t be legal.”

Jareth just nodded again, not knowing what to say.

She smiled – a wide, beguiling smile. “I think we’re going to do great things, Jareth. My name is Mal.”

** _Present – Near Monterey, CA_ **

** **

Sarah and Jareth made it to the top of the missile tunnel just as Riley fired a few shots and yelled “_Sarah!_”

She pushed Jareth ahead of her and behind some shrubbery with a clear view of the car ahead. She dropped her bag to the ground.

It was about 10 yards away, give or take a few, and a man was guarding it. They had about eight to ten minutes before Riley and his men climbed those stairs.

The man near the car looked up at the sound of shots, but he hadn’t seen Sarah and Jareth. Sarah sent out a prayer of thanks, for that small victory.

She turned to Jareth. “I’m going to disarm that man and we’re going to try and take the car.”

Jareth nodded. “I can access it.”

Her brows drew together in confusion – she’d been anticipating that they’d have to hotwire it, or something. Most military vehicles were assigned to specific personnel and could only be accessed with a code.

They didn’t have time to discuss the minutiae, so Sarah just decided to nod and move past Jareth as quietly as possible. She kept close to the trees and bushes surrounding the hillside, until she had a clear shot of where the man was standing, less than 15 feet away.

She ran at him as fast as she could and elbowed him in the stomach, against the car. He let out a huff of air but didn’t move as much as Sarah would’ve liked.

She saw his fist coming and caught it on her forearm, but it hurt like a bitch. She swung with her right arm and got him in the jaw.

_That _had him pitching backward a bit. Sarah used her left arm to grab hold of his head and smash it against the car window. He went down without additional trouble.

Sarah took his gun and shoved him to the side.

She waved for Jareth. He ran for her with their bags in tow.

Sarah ran around to the passenger-side and looked at Jareth, waiting. He calmly typed in a code on the car’s driver-side panel and it clicked open.

She gave him a look – he just shook his head. “Later,” he said.

They shoved their things in the back and got in. Sarah immediately made sure no one else was in the backseat and trunk – it was clear.

Jareth hit the gas and they bumped along the gravelly roads for about ten minutes, in silence.

When they hit the main road, Sarah spoke.

“How long before they realize that code didn’t belong to you?”

Jareth huffed a bit, with a grim smile. “I’m expecting this car to stop working in oh…four hours. Or more. Leadership and military have terrible communication. It’ll take them a while to confirm that I’m not allowed to be using this – and that I stole an access code.”

“How did you steal an access code? And how did you know it’d work on this car?”

He glanced over at her, “I’ve had it for a while – memorized it ages ago. I was saving it for a rainy day…the person I stole it from has almost-universal clearance.”

She decided to inquire further at another time; another question seemed more important. “Where are we going?”

“If you don’t have a place in mind yourself, I was going to take us to Lompoc.”

“Lompoc…?” Sarah wasn’t really familiar with this part of California – she wasn’t aware of anything important besides the base in San Diego.

“Yes…there’s an old air force base there – just northwest of the town. I have a friend who can meet us and give us a lift.”

“When you say a lift,” Sarah began. “Do you mean on a plane?”

He laughed, but it didn’t have much humor to it. “Yes, a plane. When I was first naturalized as a citizen here, I purchased a home under a different name – so Leadership wouldn’t know. It’s not registered to me, technically…it’s in Arizona.”

He looked over at her, “Consider this is my invitation to you – to stay at my secret home while the government is mostly likely trying to kill us.”

Sarah couldn’t help but think about Toby – how this would throw a wrench in her search. She wondered if her search even _mattered _at this point.

It was obvious to her that Riley must have told the military that she was searching for her brother – otherwise, why would she be a target?

She figured she could reassess once she was somewhere safe.

“Well,” she started. “I guess with my many, many options out there…”

Jareth laughed – a real laugh. She was glad to hear it.

“I’d love to accept your very generous invitation, Jareth.”

He smiled at her, nodding. They were silent for a few moments before Jareth spoke again.

“It seemed that one of the men they sent knew you.”

Sarah closed her eyes – she’d almost forgotten about her boyfriend trying to shoot at them.

“That was Riley.” She looked over, waiting for Jareth to put the pieces together – it didn’t take long.

He chuckled. “The enigmatic ‘R,’ I take it?”

She nodded. “We were together for…three years. He was helping me with something – he was helping me _look_ for something. And I trusted him; I’m not sure that was a good idea.”

Jareth took his eyes off the road for a moment and Sarah thought he wasn’t going to respond – then he spoke.

“It can be…very difficult to trust people, in this world.”

She agreed.

Around Cambria, they switched off so Sarah was driving and quickly got back on the highway – which was completely deserted.

“I forgot that we’re technically under nuclear threat, at the moment.”

Jareth snorted. “I’d take that with a grain of salt, my dear. If the threat were so high, Riley and his friends would not have been traipsing around our little Silo.”

“Are you saying that Leadership and the military fabricated a potential nuclear war?”

He thinned his lips, seeming to consider his words before responding. “I simply think that _any _existential threat – nuclear or not – could prove beneficial to a government that wields control over its population like a weapon.”

Sarah had to agree – but she could tell that there was more to what Jareth had just said. She’d think about it more later, when she wasn’t caught between a burgeoning hangover and developing shock.

He reached behind them, into the back seats, and pulled out his electronic pad. She saw him typing into the message application and focused back on the road.

She kept driving, at a high speed, until they saw the exit sign for Lompoc. Jareth directed her off the highway and they drove northwest, until Sarah saw what looked to be deserted buildings and an empty airstrip.

They parked the car and stepped out. Jareth walked over to a partially-collapsed chain-link fence and held half of it aside for her. She ducked underneath.

They walked onto the airstrip until Sarah saw a small passenger plane ahead. She could see that it had already been fueled and the engines were on.

She tried to get a good look at who the pilot was; they were jumping down the airstairs.

It looked like a woman – quite a large woman. She was advancing towards them at a steady clip.

She got closer and Jareth waved. He shifted his bag to his left shoulder and pulled the woman in for a hug.

“Hello, Lou.”

She smiled and hit his arm good-naturedly. “Hello, yourself. Looks like you’re in a lovely little mess, aren’t you?”

Her accent was English – but it also had an odd American quality to it. Sarah couldn’t place it. Then the woman turned her attention to Sarah.

“I’m Sarah – it’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” she said. “I’m Lou.” They shook hands – Lou’s grip was firm, as though she were trying to prove something. Sarah raised her brows.

Lou turned and ascended the plane’s steps. Jareth gestured for Sarah to go first and looked behind them.

He figured they’d have another hour or so before the place was crawling with Leadership and military personnel. Airspace could be a problem, but Lou had ways of blocking the military’s radar. They’d be long gone and in Arizona in about forty-five minutes. He smiled, satisfied.

It was time to plan his final escape from the United States.

He hit the button that retracted the airstairs, shut the door, and went to find Sarah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to every commenter so far -- it always makes my day to hear that you're liking it or have Qs.
> 
> Everyone stay safe, healthy, and sane! Sending productivity vibes to everyone working from home now.


	7. Chapter 7

** _Present – North of Flagstaff, AZ_ **

** **

Sarah wasn’t too worried about the military intercepting their landing. She had to keep telling herself this. Maybe she’d believe it.

Jareth and Lou had explained that, amidst the nuclear threat – fabricated or otherwise – military and Leadership were overwhelmingly focused around large, populated coastal locations.

Lou also, somehow, had access to stealth technology that would block radar from sensing their movements. Sarah decided not to ask about that – Lou didn’t seem to like her much anyway.

Flagstaff wasn’t as well-populated as it had been, decades ago. Most citizens had moved away from any interior states and to either the West or East coasts, mainly due to economic difficulties.

Jareth explained that he’d bought the house – on the outskirts of what was previously a National Forest – for that very reason. It was _close _to California without actually being there. It was remote without being isolated.

According to all this logic, they shouldn’t run into trouble upon landing.

Sarah was still scared – paranoid, really. After the initial shock at their situation had worn off, she found herself spiralling, thinking about every angle of fallout from this whole debacle.

She thought of Toby, of course. She hoped he wouldn’t get in trouble if Riley had really blown her cover.

She thought of Riley and his betrayal – she wondered how and _when _he’d turned his back on her. Had her assignment to the Silo been part of it? What was Riley getting out of this?

She thought of Jareth – why he was helping her and why he’d dealt with everything so calmly. It was almost as though he’d expected it.

Sarah narrowed her eyes and turned back to face him. He was sleeping next to her; this was the first time she’d ever seen the man sleeping outside of the five hours he normally got.

She supposed he hadn’t slept at all last night – after her drunkenly passing out and being generally useless before the military unit had broken in.

She cringed, thinking about how drunk she’d been. And how much she’d wanted to kiss Jareth – she’d been all over him. She’d even invited him into _bed _with her.

If she were being honest with herself, she’d been attracted to him from the moment they’d spoken.

The pictures she’d seen growing up told her he was handsome, yes, but something about his demeanor – and their interactions – really solidified her interest in him.

He was funny and sarcastic, but never rude or mean. He was also more than a bit self-important, but he seemed to value Sarah’s own opinions and intelligence.

She genuinely enjoyed their conversations.

It was a far cry from most Leadership personnel she knew. She figured it would be easy for her to lose sight of her original goals, her decade-long search for her brother, and stay with Jareth in Arizona.

It would be easy, but it just wouldn’t be possible for her. She was in too deep; more than that, she needed answers.

She took a fortifying breath through her nose and decided to come clean about Toby, once they got to Jareth’s home. She squirmed in her seat at the thought.

She looked to her side and at Jareth, once again. He didn’t seem very peaceful in his sleep; his face was slightly scrunched and his eyebrows would twitch every so often. It would be funny, she assumed, if she weren’t a little worried about him.

He jerked awake about ten minutes later, when Lou announced their initial descent into Flagstaff.

Sarah peered down through the clouds to the land below, trying and failing to see if there were government vehicles waiting for them. She sat back in her seat.

She felt a hand land on her own, on top of the armrest. She looked at Jareth, who smiled. “Don’t worry…Lou asked a friend to check the area for military and Leadership. It’s been empty for the past week. This airport is mostly commercial, anyway.”

She nodded, not entirely convinced. He squeezed her hand before pulling away.

Jareth got up and walked over to Lou, speaking in a low voice. Sarah strained to hear.

“Have you spoken to Dee?”

Lou responded, Sarah assumed in the affirmative, but she couldn’t hear the specifics.

Jareth turned back around and walked to his seat, buckling the safety belt.

They didn’t speak again until the plane landed.

-

Once on the tarmac, all three walked away from the plane and past the airport.

Before they left the immediate area, Jareth stopped and fished into his duffel. Sarah watched as he grabbed his electronic pad, threw it on the ground, and smashed it with his foot.

Lou’s face held no expression, while Jareth just smirked slightly at Sarah’s widened eyes.

They walked about a mile before they reached a small parking garage. Jareth grabbed a pair of keys from Lou and unlocked a van to their right.

“My house is about a twenty-minute drive just north of here. Your electronic pad won’t work, but that’s for the best. They could track us through it, anyway.”

Sarah got in the car and shut the door. “Should I destroy mine like you just did?”

He laughed. “It’s not necessary…mine just had some incriminating messages on it. You could turn yours off though. That may be a safe bet.”

Once they were all inside, Jareth started the engine and pulled out into the city. It was deserted; Sarah thought it was creepy. She looked out the window as buildings and apartments were replaced by trees and low shrubs.

After twenty minutes, Jareth stopped the car behind an outcropping of rock. Sarah didn’t see a house, and Jareth caught her inquisitive look.

“It’s a half-mile on foot.” She nodded.

They walked closer until Sarah saw a building appear through the trees. It was large – at least two stories. Sarah counted seven windows, with a wrap-around porch.

She saw a garage to the left and another car parked nearby. It was backed-in, as though prepped for an escape.

They walked up the porch steps and Jareth used two keys to unlock the door.

Once it was open, they all filed in. Jareth locked the door behind them. There was a small foyer and a kitchen directly at their front.

Jareth dropped his bag to the floor and walked ahead. “I think we should all sit down and talk for a moment.”

Lou and Sarah followed behind. Across from the kitchen was a dining area. Sarah sat down first and dropped her bag on the floor beside her. Jareth sat down next, placing his hands flat on the table.

Lou sat across from Sarah, to Jareth’s right.

After a moment, Jareth stretched his arms in front of him and rolled his shoulders a bit, seeming to prepare for the conversation ahead.

Jareth took a deep breath and glanced at Lou. “Leadership undoubtedly sent that military team into the Silo to take us out and silence us…they –”

Sarah interrupted. “They did it because of me.”

Both Lou and Jareth raised their brows. They didn’t answer for a moment, and the silence made Sarah more anxious. She was about to speak again, when Jareth opened his mouth.

“I don’t think that’s the case, Sarah.”

“What do you mean?” She looked from Lou to Jareth, confused.

Lou’s eyes slid to Jareth. She hit him with the back of her hand, lightly.

He closed his eyes for a moment.

“I have not been in Leadership’s good graces for six months, at the very least. Probably longer, if I’m being honest.”

Sarah sat back, surprised. Jareth spoke again.

“I figured that it was just a matter of time before they’d try something like this with me…in fact, I immediately thought the Silo was my assigned execution chamber when they placed me there. But then you arrived and I didn’t know what that meant.”

It was a moment before Sarah gathered the courage to ask, “What did you do?”

Jareth smirked and Lou looked to the side. “I’ve done many things, my dear – it’s simply a matter of what Leadership caught wind of and decided to try and kill me for.”

Sarah fought the urge to roll her eyes. He was being cryptic; she wouldn’t push him for an answer.

He sat back in his own chair, seemingly more relaxed after this confession.

“I think the question now is what did _you _do?” He crossed his arms.

Sarah pursed her lips, trying to decide what to say. Jareth hadn’t been specific about his own crimes, that was true – but she felt like coming clean. They were both outlaws now, she supposed.

She needed to see how he’d react, anyway.

“I’ve been trying to find, and get into contact with, my brother Toby since he was forced into the Future Leadership Program when I was fifteen. He was _stolen_ from us. That was _your_ program, if I’m not mistaken.”

Sarah couldn’t help the hint of bitterness in her voice, the accusation.

He didn’t seem very surprised, but Lou did. She scoffed and leaned forward.

“I’d be careful of who you cast blame on, Sarah. Not all of us had famous mommies that acted in American propaganda films and bought us pretty things.”

Sarah almost stood up, but Jareth rose before she could.

“Lou,” he began. She just looked at him. He stared at her pointedly. His eyes moved to the hallway, implicitly asking her to leave.

She got up and left, throwing a glare Sarah’s way.

Sarah glared back. She looked at Jareth, who had sat down again. He put his elbows on the table.

“Sarah,” he began. “I knew that you had…reservations about me when we first met. I had a good idea of why that was.”

She just sat there, waiting for him to continue.

“My name has been slightly less well-known the past decade or so, but before – yes, I received quite a lot of notoriety as the one who helped actualize the current aptitude Test. I was recognized as the Future Leadership Program’s director.”

His voice trailed off and he looked to the side.

“I don’t want to discuss the particulars, but I’m not the director anymore. I haven’t been for quite some time, in fact. I also was one of _a team _that updated the Test. There were others…”

He cut himself off and seemed to shake himself. “That doesn’t matter. I won’t make excuses. What matters is that I, perhaps indirectly, am responsible for multitudes of American children taken from their families and put into the Program.”

He looked directly at her. “I’ve tried to atone for that sin. Many times over. It doesn’t excuse anything I’ve done.”

Sarah looked away – conflicted. He spoke again.

“What I can do for you, right now, is try and locate your brother with the few contacts I have whom I trust. What do you think about that?”

Sarah was dumbfounded. He could find Toby…just like that? She’d been searching for _years_, trying to access encrypted and remote files. She could hardly believe it.

Jareth could make a few phone calls and find her brother? She didn’t know how to feel. She also didn’t know what she’d do if Jareth actually found him.

She nodded. “That…I…I would appreciate that, yes.”

“All right.” He got up but kept his hands on the table. “Shall I show you to your room?”

She nodded again and got up. She picked up her bag and followed him through the hallway.

A few doors down, he stopped.

“This,” he pointed to the left. “Is one of the guest rooms. I hope you’re okay with it.”

Sarah just shrugged, fine with just about any room, at this point.

“The bathroom is right here,” he jerked his head to the right. “My room is there.” He pointed to the door at the end of the hallway, about ten feet from where they stood.

Sarah realized there wasn’t another bedroom in the vicinity. “Where did Lou go?”

He grinned. “Lou doesn’t like staying in the house. She has a small cottage in the backyard…did you want to drop by for another chat?”

Sarah scoffed. “No – just wondering about her proximity, so I can prepare myself if she attempts to murder me.”

His chuckle told her that attempted murder was a possibility. “Lou is difficult to get along with, sometimes. I think she’ll warm up.”

Sarah rolled her eyes in response. “Sure thing, Jareth. Thanks for…inviting me here. I guess I’m going to try and sleep for a bit.”

His expression sobered. “I’ll let you know what I find out about Toby, after you rest.”

She nodded. “Maybe you should sleep a bit too…I don’t think you slept at all last night.”

His eyes crinkled at the corners. “No, I was trying to keep you from your drunken shenanigans and busy running away from your military boyfriend.”

Sarah couldn’t help but laugh. She wanted to give him a light shove but stopped herself – she was almost afraid to touch him. They locked eyes for a moment; Sarah looked away first.

She opened her door. She looked at him again; he nodded back.

She shut the door behind herself and heard his retreating footsteps.

Opening her duffle, she set about putting everything away that she’d had time to throw inside the bag.

Pulling items out one by one, she realized she’d forgotten one of her favorite books – _Never Let Me Go _by Kazuo Ishiguro. She cursed. She _loved _that one. Linda had bought it for her when she’d visited London.

That reminded her of Lou’s comment about her mother, earlier. She wondered what it meant – it was obvious that Lou thought Sarah had grown up pampered, spoiled. How did _Lou _grow up? Did Jareth know her as a child? They seemed like old friends.

She focused on putting away her clothing and, once finished, she sat on the bed.

Sarah was exhausted, but she felt too keyed up to actually sleep. She needed to relax. She lifted the comforter and slid under the sheets.

Laying there, staring at the ceiling, Sarah thought about doing something she hadn’t done in a while.

She’d _thought _about touching herself while she’d been in the Silo, but was always nervous about Jareth hearing her. The walls there were thin, and truth be told, she was usually too tired to bother.

Now, not only did she need a distraction, she thought the walls were a bit thicker. She couldn’t hear Jareth in his room, and she suspected they shared a wall.

She thought back to the night before – how he’d looked standing above her when she’d been on the floor, how close he’d been when she’d asked him to lay down with her. How close she’d been to kissing him.

Her left hand trailed down her side and underneath her shirt. It ghosted over her breasts. She pulled down the cups of her bra so she could roll and pinch her nipples. She took a shaky breath and shifted her legs apart.

She closed her eyes and slid her right hand underneath the waist of her leggings. She was already wet – she spread it from her opening to her clit and began rubbing in slow circles.

Sarah thought about how _his _hands would feel and her hand sped up. She couldn’t help a small noise escaping her. She tried to muffle it by turning her head into the pillow.

-

Jareth opened his door and walked out into the hallway, about to tell Sarah that he’d grabbed one of her books when they escaped the Silo.

It was a good one – he liked Ishiguro as well. Some of the sadder elements of _this _novel reminded him of the way things in the world were, now. They reminded him of his childhood.

He stopped outside Sarah’s door and was about to knock when he decided to listen and see if she was asleep. He didn’t want to wake her.

If things were quiet, he’d give her the book later. But she might be in the process of putting things away…

He heard a noise – it sounded like a breathy grunt. Then a small gasp.

At first, he thought she might be upset, maybe crying, but the realization of what she was _actually _doing had his eyes widening and left him frozen outside the door.

It also had his pants feeling considerably tighter. He couldn’t help his reaction and warred with himself over what to do.

He wanted to keep listening – even go inside and offer to finish what she’d started. He knew he couldn’t. He was acting like a total creep.

Feeling like a creep didn’t stop him from pressing a palm against the front of his trousers to relieve some of the pressure growing there.

It didn’t stop him from getting harder when Sarah let out a small moan. She let out another and Jareth knew she was close. He wanted to go in there so badly and watch her face as she came.

When she let out another gasp, louder this time, Jareth knew he had to leave. He was too aroused and felt too guilty about listening.

He gritted his teeth and pushed off from her door, as quietly as he could.

He adjusted himself, gripped the book with white knuckles, and forced himself to walk back to his room.

Sarah Williams would be the death of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone here is following my other story, it will be updated in the next day or so! Sent it to my beta reader today :)
> 
> Also re: the last chapter and the milf-y lady (Mal) that intercepted Jareth. I'm going to ask for input here. Mal is a very important character, especially as a mentor to Jareth (later a quasi-enemy). It will be heavily implied that they had a relationship when Jareth was in his 20s...would you all kill me if I wrote some of that in via flashbacks? Is that something anyone is interested in? 
> 
> I can keep it at an *implied* relationship, if anything other than J/S makes you gag. I'm throwing the possibility for some detail out there ;) 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! xx


	8. Chapter 8

Sarah had slept for sixteen hours. It was pitch black and everything around her was silent.

When she opened her eyes, it was four in the morning and she was more disoriented than she’d been in recent memory.

She turned in the unfamiliar bed and suddenly remembered where she was. She remembered that she’d told Jareth she was going to take a _nap_. She must have missed dinner.

Sitting up, she remembered that she also hadn’t brushed her teeth. She cringed at the thought and decided to rectify that situation. She flicked on the bedside table light.

She grabbed her case of toiletries and walked, quietly, from her room and into the bathroom. A quick scan of the hallway revealed Jareth’s shut door and complete darkness.

After she brushed her teeth and finished in the bathroom, she stepped back into the hallway.

Something near her door – just outside of it – caught her eye. It looked like a book.

Sarah bent down to grab it. She turned it in her hands and went into her room to look in the light.

_Never Let Me Go _– it was her Ishiguro book. There was a sticky note attached to the back.

_“All children have to be deceived if they are to grow up without trauma.” Got a hold of this before we ran. Also have info on your brother – we can discuss in the morning. -J_

Sarah’s heart clenched in her chest. She didn’t know if she was ready to hear anything about Toby – this was surreal.

She’d wanted information about her brother since she was _fifteen._ Now, the man she’d blamed for his abduction had that very information. It was bizarre.

She knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep, so she sat on the bed, crossed her legs, and decided to read for a bit.

Time passed quickly.

Sarah looked to her right at the digital clock – it was already six. She put her book down and peeled the sticky note from the back.

Staring at it, she walked over to her duffle and carefully placed the note – folded – in one of the smaller pockets. She didn’t know why she did it; it seemed special to her. She wanted to keep it safe.

She dressed and ran a brush through her hair before pulling on socks and venturing out of her room once again.

It was still pretty dark in the house, but the sky outside was quickly becoming purple and Sarah was tired of sitting around in a small space.

She walked to the kitchen and flipped on a light – dimming it so the brightness wasn’t overwhelming. She looked around for a coffee machine of some sort.

There was a French press on the counter, with ground coffee and a kettle next to it. She checked for water in the kettle, filled it, and flicked the switch to boil it.

She wondered if she should just use enough water for herself; it didn’t seem like Jareth and Lou would be making an appearance in the next few minutes.

To be safe, she used enough coffee and water for two and let the coffee brew before finding a mug and pouring herself a cup.

She looked into the fridge and couldn’t help the small noise of excitement escape her when she found _real_ cream inside.

With her coffee in hand, Sarah walked through the kitchen and to the living room, where a sliding glass door led to the porch. She stood outside for a bit, watching the sun rise and the clouds turn pink.

She heard someone else coming her way and she turned to see Jareth.

She smiled in greeting, and then remembered what she’d _done _the day before, that she’d been thinking about him when she did it, and that she’d _then_ proceeded to sleep for sixteen hours.

Her smile froze a bit, but Jareth didn’t seem to notice. He smiled back.

“I’m glad you’re awake – I was wondering if you were still alive.”

Her laugh was only slightly fake. “I’m alive…but I do feel like a zombie. Sorry I passed out for so long.”

“Don’t worry about it. We’ve had a couple of trying days, haven’t we?”

“I suppose so,” she murmured.

Jareth opened the sliding door a bit wider. “Would you like breakfast? Lou always makes bacon.”

Sarah cast a sidelong glance his way. She was ravenous, but didn’t look forward to facing Lou again.

He laughed and came closer to put his hands on her shoulders and steer her inside the house. “She won’t kill you – I’ll ban her from the house if she’s rude again. I promise.”

Sarah walked with Jareth and indeed could smell cooking bacon. She sat down at the dining table and finished her coffee. Jareth asked her if she wanted another cup – she said yes.

He returned with a second cup of coffee and sat down across from her, placing a platter of scrambled eggs on the table.

Lou came over a minute later with bacon and three plates. She sat and handed Sarah and Jareth a plate each. Sarah looked her in the eye.

“Thank you,” she said as casually as she could, before taking the utensils Jareth handed her and filling her plate.

Lou smirked and nodded, as she started on her own food.

Jareth cleared his throat and looked at Sarah. “I did promise you information on your brother, didn’t I?”

Sarah nodded and searched his face, trying to discern if the information would be good or bad. She couldn’t glean much – his face was as neutral as she’d ever seen it.

“Well,” he began. “It seems as though Toby has been working in the lab of Mallory Graham, specializing in biotech and diagnostic testing for other Future Leadership students.”

“Biotech…” Sarah trailed off. “So, Toby’s a scientist?”

“He will be, if he stays in that lab and completes courses at the university attached to it. It could also just be an internship – sometimes Leadership asks their students to intern in different areas of expertise, if they aren’t fast-tracked to political or diplomatic positions.”

Sarah mulled over that a moment. “I don’t know why I pictured him becoming a politician…I think I like this outcome a lot more.”

Jareth nodded in agreement. “It’s certainly better if you want to get into contact with him. The scientists tend to care much less about state ideology, though that doesn’t mean they’re exempt from it. He’s been in the Program for most of his life.”

Sarah looked down at her cup. “I know, I know. I’m sure he’s absolutely _saturated _with all that propaganda, but I’ve wanted to just…see him and speak with him for so long.”

“I do think you should, Sarah.” Jareth looked at her; his eyes were somber. “I also think things are obviously very complex right now and you have to be smart about it. Take your time. I’ll help you plan, and give you the address of the lab, all of that.”

Lou set down her coffee cup with a firm _thunk_. She laughed and Jareth looked at her sharply in warning.

She raised her eyebrows in return and Sarah glanced between the two of them, confused.

“Aren’t you going to tell Sarah a little more about Mal? Her brother’s lovely boss?”

Jareth set down his own coffee and turned in his chair to face Lou fully. He just stared at her silently.

Sarah found his expression intimidating; she was glad it wasn’t trained on her, at the moment.

Finally, after a few tense moments, Lou rolled her eyes and got up from the table.

As she passed her while leaving, she jerked her head in Sarah’s general direction and threw over her shoulder, “I like _this _one more, at the very least.”

Sarah looked at Jareth with a questioning glance, but he just drained his cup and got up to refill it.

She looked down at the table, processing all the new information about Toby…she was happy – so happy to hear that he was out in the world and living, working.

Even better – he wasn’t a politician. He wasn’t in charge of some municipality or in the highest echelons of Leadership.

That gave Sarah hope. She hoped the Program’s indoctrination hadn’t transformed him completely.

Her thoughts turned sour when she realized that she didn’t _know _Toby – she hadn’t seen him since he was seven years old. Would he remember her very well? Would he _care _to see her?

She was drawn from her bitterness when Jareth came back. He stood across from her and she looked up.

“Do you want to go on a hike?”

Sarah sat up a bit, surprised. “A hike?”

“Yes,” he smiled slightly. His anger at Lou didn’t seem to extend to Sarah. “I’d feel guilty if I brought you here and didn’t show you the best part about this place.”

Sarah got up, grabbing her dish and mug. “Sure – can we go in a half-hour or so?”

Jareth followed her as she walked to the kitchen and rinsed the dishes, placing them in the dishwasher.

“That works. I’ll meet you here?”

Sarah nodded and gave him a small smile in return. She headed to her room to get cleaned up and change.

\--

About forty-five minutes later, they were walking through the forest surrounding Jareth’s home. Sun shone through the trees and the early morning air was still crisp.

They passed by an old trail head, beaten up and weathered. Sarah could faintly make out the words _Schultz Creek Trail_.

She swung her water bottle and tried to relax and enjoy the moment; it had been a while since she’d really been outside.

Looking ahead at her hiking partner, she considered. This would be a good opportunity to get to know him better, and gather more information about his past. The man was the definition of cryptic and Sarah wanted answers.

At the moment, Lou’s comment about _Mal _– Toby’s boss – intrigued her most. But she knew it was better to start small.

“How do you know Lou?”

Jareth looked back at her and then kept walking forward. His voice seemed overly casual to Sarah, as though he were uncomfortable with the topic and trying not to show it.

“I grew up with Lou. We met when another friend of ours, Dee, was being bullied by a group of older children. Lou was only twelve or so, but she’d jumped in and had a sixteen-year-old by the neck when I came over.”

Sarah chuckled. “It doesn’t seem like she’s changed much.”

Jareth looked at her with a wry grin. “She’s calmed down a bit, in all honesty.”

“Where’s Dee?” She remembered hearing that name, when they’d been on the plane.

That had Jareth stiffening, but he kept up his pace. “I’m not entirely certain. He became a primary school teacher for Future Leadership and traveled in the U.S. quite a bit.”

Sarah could tell that they were venturing into territory that Jareth didn’t like, but she pushed on. She thought about changing her approach.

“You’re very different from most people in Leadership that I’ve encountered.”

He laughed and looked over his shoulder. “And why do you say that? Is it my good looks? Perhaps my ability to have a conversation without waxing poetic about the many, illustrious merits of the American government?”

Sarah rolled her eyes and ran up ahead of him.

“It’s not your ego – _that _is the closest thing you have to a quintessential Leadership trait,” she continued even when he made a mock face of offense. “I think it’s mainly the lack of insatiable ambition…” her expression grew serious. She walked backwards to watch his reaction.

He gave a half-smile and shrugged. “I’ve had my taste of ambition. I have just about everything I need now – in fact, I think I’ve recently bit off more than I can chew.”

His playful tone at the end implied _she _was to blame for his recent troubles, but Sarah knew that he’d committed his own crimes against the government.

He was still deflecting; steering the conversation away from himself.

Sarah was determined to peer inside his mask; she thought _she _had walls built up. She was beginning to realize that Jareth’s were much stronger. She wanted to know what he was really like – what he really thought.

She turned around and kept walking, spying a small creek to their right. It was banked by tall grass that had yet to lose its green color and vitality.

Leaving the shade of the trees to their left, she walked closer to the creek. She heard Jareth follow behind her; the shuffling of leaves and grass a soft warning.

The creek was low, and Sarah imagined it never really got high levels of water. Small rocks and pebbles littered the creek bed.

She set her water bottle down on the ground and moved one leg carefully, testing the nearest rock for stability.

“Sarah,” Jareth said behind her. “What are you doing?”

She looked back at him when she was sure she wouldn’t fall. “Did you ever jump up on rocks and pretend the water was lava as a kid?”

Jareth’s smile was indulgent, but his eyes shifted from Sarah’s feet to her face, as though he were worried she’d slip. “I grew up in a large city – so, no.”

_Ah –_ _a personal detail. _“And you never went camping outside of your large city? Perhaps a beach trip?”

She hopped to the next rock. Jareth looked as though he’d follow.

“I didn’t go camping, no. And the radiation level in the water surrounding my country was too high for a beach trip. Sorry to disappoint.”

Sarah didn’t answer but moved onto another rock. She was about ten feet from the shoreline now, and making good progress.

Jareth slowly tested the rock she’d stood on previously and stepped onto it. Sarah wanted to laugh at how cautious he was being, but refrained.

“Lou looks like the type who went camping as a kid. Maybe her family should’ve invited you.”

Jareth had moved to the next rock and Sarah was testing one directly ahead of her.

“Considering neither Lou nor I had families, that may have been difficult.”

Sarah’s head jerked up in surprise and she wasn’t prepared for how slippery the rock beneath her right foot was.

As she fell, she saw Jareth move from the corner of her eye. She yelped.

She felt an arm wrap around her upper back. Her right leg was submerged in the water to her calf. She dropped her other leg to stand evenly and winced at the icy feeling.

When she looked up, she saw that both of Jareth’s feet were in the water. His other arm was around her waist. He was giving her a look that was part-exasperation and part-amusement.

He was still holding her. She shrugged sheepishly. The movement seemed to prompt him to let go; Sarah immediately missed the feel of him.

They trudged back to the bank. As Jareth picked up their water bottles, Sarah put her hand on his forearm.

“What happened to your family?” she whispered.

The look on his face was pained. “It’s not something that I enjoy talking about, but since you ask…suffice to say that my father left quickly after I was born. And my mother did not do well as a single parent.”

Sarah nodded, recognizing that it would be unkind to push him further. “I’m sorry, Jareth.”

He nodded back and his smile reassured her. “I appreciate that. I blame the government more than I blame either of my parents, anyway.”

That caught Sarah’s attention. “Why do you say that?”

They walked back to the main trail. “Well…after the bombs dropped, the U.K.’s government became absolutely overwhelmed. And ineffective. Then Scotland and Northern Ireland left the country and all hell broke loose. Things got violent.” He paused.

Sarah waited for him to keep speaking, trying to be patient.

“After _that_, everything just spiraled. In my entire life I’ve never seen such wealth disparity. And absolutely repulsive racism and ethnic chauvinism – Lou found herself the target many attacks, for that reason.”

He kicked a few twigs and rocks as they walked. “All I wanted, back then, was to have a home and enough money to eat regularly. As I got a bit older, it turned into something else. I wanted an education, status, nice things…”

His smile was sardonic. “And look where that got me.” He looked to Sarah, who could only manage a small smile and nod in return.

Their conversation after that was light and sparse, leaving them both to mull over what had been said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Next chapter should have a flashback. And maybe a kiss ;)
> 
> Everyone stay healthy xx


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to warn you that there is a *mild* and *brief* discussion of lab mice/euthanizing them in this chapter. Towards the middle. It's not graphic at all imho, but if you're very concerned, comment and I'll switch the formatting so there are asterisks around the couple of sentences in question.

** _Twenty-five years earlier – London, former United Kingdom_ **

Jareth walked into his building, swiping an access card and waiting for the elevator. He never got over the luxury of having his own two-bedroom apartment, even _if _it was citizen-housing and not a private residence.

He even had a bed now – a proper bed. And things to cook with, in a real kitchen. Not that he was any good at cooking, but the point stood.

It sure beat the old warehouse.

In the five years he’d been working for Mallory Graham, he’d been able to secure housing, a small paycheck, and an identity.

He’d been able to get identification cards for Lou and Dee, as well. All it had taken was two phone calls on Mal’s part and they were set.

If he thought about it for too long, the injustice of it all would drive him mad. Phone calls from a well-placed American scientist could actually _create _identities for abandoned children, almost from whole-cloth.

When they’d been starving on the streets, Jareth never allowed himself to think about this day.

Now, he often let himself just lie in bed and concentrate on the feel of cotton sheets, a warm blanket, clean clothing.

It never got old.

Even better, after a few years of working as a lackey in Mal’s lab, she’d let him sit in on university courses. He’d weaseled his way into gaining credit for them; this term he’d be graduating with an undergraduate degree.

His parents certainly could never have imagined that. If they were alive, he wondered what they’d think of him – if they’d be proud.

Maybe he’d make his mother smile; maybe she would have wanted to stay with him, if she knew what he’d become. Maybe she’d want to live…

He shook himself out of those thoughts as he made it to the doorway and typed in his access code.

Walking through, he heard yelling. Not an uncommon occurrence, but still. He mentally prepared himself for whatever Lou and Dee were going on about.

“If you don’t leave my room, I’ll strangle you. I swear I will!”

Dee jogged through the hallway and into the common living room. “It’s my room too! You can’t _say _it’s just yours. Jareth said we share it. Right Jareth?”

He spotted Jareth at the threshold. Jareth sighed. “Lou, it’s Dee’s room too. Leave him alone and get back to your application, or something.”

Lou yelled from two doors over. “I’m _trying _to finish my application, but Dee won’t shut the hell up and leave me to it.”

Jareth looked at Dee, who just shrugged and sat on the couch, flipping on the television.

Before Dee could get completely distracted, Jareth interrupted. “Did you grab your photo identification from the citizen office today? I’m sending in our visas tomorrow.”

Dee glanced at Jareth. “It’s on the desk in _my and Lou’s _room.”

Jareth made his way to their room to retrieve Dee’s photo. He gave Lou a look and walked back out to the kitchen.

He was recently accepted to a Master’s program at Columbia, beginning in the fall. Jareth couldn’t imagine leaving without bringing Lou and Dee with him, so they’d been frantically trying to secure three visas to the United States.

Dee had been easy. Jareth listed him as his younger brother back when Mal first called about creating their citizen IDs and profiles. Now, they simply had to list Dee as Jareth’s dependent.

Lou was a different story. Jareth had spent the last two months deeply worried over her visa, until a classmate of his mentioned that his father owned a private charter company.

His ears perked up at that. Lou always wanted to be a pilot, and the classmate’s family business was based in the U.S. All it had taken was some sucking up on Jareth’s part, and the classmate sent an application for pilot school along.

Jareth would hate all these wealthy, oblivious university students if they weren’t so useful so often. They thrived on nepotism and generational wealth.

By that logic, he also supposed he should hate Mal – she was the definition of nepotistic. Anyone on her good side had the world at their fingertips; she’d grown up the same way, coming from a rich American family that got its start in the pharmaceutical business.

Yes, he supposed he should hate her, but he was also ridiculously in love with her. Had been since he’d met her, five years ago.

He knew it was absurd to be so in love with the woman – he was a twenty-year-old with no money and no family. He’d depended on her patronage and influence to make him _exist_ in his own country.

She, on the other hand, was an accomplished thirty-five year-old with a wealthy family and multiple contracts with American Leadership. The difference was stark.

That starkness did not deter him. Jareth’s feelings towards Mal were a complex amalgamation of gratitude and lust.

Gratitude because she’d given him housing, an identity, and a university degree. Hell, she’d even facilitated his acceptance to Columbia, where she’d be moving as well, as a researcher. For yet another project with the American government.

Lust because, well, she was gorgeous. Jareth knew she was completely out of his league, but that hadn’t stopped him from fantasizing about the woman since he was fifteen.

He’d tried to get over his obsession with Mal, as he’d grown and began attending Imperial. His relationships with his peers were short, brief – mainly because he was embarrassed.

If anyone ever asked to see where he lived, or dug too deep into his background and past, Jareth froze. He’d drop contact and pretend the other person didn’t exist.

The only people who knew about him and his lack of status – the only people _allowed _to know about him – were Lou, Dee, and Mal.

He’d be satisfied with this small circle, but Lou and Dee’s dislike of Mal threw a wrench in things, at times.

They’d completely barred him from gushing over her, or discussing the little things she did or said – unless it was strictly necessary. Such as when she helped them find identification documents or housing.

Jareth was fine with that, but recently…Mal had been acting differently towards him. If someone asked him a year ago if he thought Mal would ever be interested in him romantically or sexually, he’d have gone beet red and mumbled something to the effect of _No way in hell._

But now…she’d been making little comments. Touching him casually, for no apparent reason. It made him giddy. He was bursting with the need to talk to someone about it.

He wanted to talk to his best friends about it – he’d have to speak obliquely though. Otherwise Lou in particular would shut him down immediately.

Speaking loudly, so his voice carried to the second bedroom down the hall, he said “Mal was asking me about where we’d like to live, in New York. She wants us to be close to her office.” Truthfully, she’d only said she wanted _Jareth_ living close to her office. But the three of them were a package deal.

That got Lou to come out of her room. She scoffed and walked past Jareth into the kitchen.

“If her Royal Highness _Mal_ wants us close, I suppose we should be close. Has she purchased a doggy bed for you at the foot of her desk yet?”

Jareth rolled his eyes, exasperated. “She got us everything we have today, Lou. She’s even agreed to write you a letter of recommendation for pilot school. Maybe you should be more grateful.”

Lou laughed; it annoyed Jareth further. “Grateful! For that snake? She only does these things for the sake of worship, Jareth. I won’t do it. You do it enough for the lot of us, anyway.”

He threw up his hands. “I do it because she’s the reason why we have anything at all! If it weren’t for her, we’d still be in that warehouse and getting into fights with adults over tinned vegetables.”

Lou glanced up from her cereal, looking serious. “You would have found another way to help us, Jareth. You always have. Everything that Mal does comes with a price. When was the last time you were here and got a full night’s sleep? She forces you to work in that lab sixteen hours at a time.”

Jareth’s shoulders slumped a bit. He didn’t know what to say to that. “What she does is important, Lou. She works a lot too.”

Lou’s smile was almost pitying. “She doesn’t work as hard as you do. And I have a feeling her research does more harm than good. She works for the American _government. _Since when do we like governments? What has ours done for us? For anyone?”

Jareth took off his jacket and finally kicked off his shoes, moving through their apartment. “American Leadership is better than our government. At least they base their selection of politicians on merit. With an aptitude Test.”

Dee piped up from the couch. “Just like Mal’s position as a scientist is based on merit?”

Lou nodded and looked to Jareth, expectantly, with a brow raised.

They had him, there. Mal’s position was not strictly based on merit. She’d gotten as far as she had through her family’s connections.

He didn’t want to keep discussing this. He gave them both a look before retreating to his own bedroom. “Finish your application, Lou. I’ll submit it for you tomorrow.”

\--

It was almost lunch time, and Jareth was just about finished with the mice embryos. He couldn’t wait to eat, and that thought made him want to laugh.

He wasn’t very squeamish, but even _he _had to admit that euthanizing and freezing baby mice was not something that usually sparked someone’s appetite. But he hadn’t eaten since the day before.

His assigned project was analyzing the genome sequencing of baby mice – after they’d been injected with different chemical cocktails during early development.

Mal wanted to see if the chemicals showed a change that appeared in their DNA. It was the preliminary step towards her overall project on DNA testing for Leadership’s aptitude test.

Jareth got up from his seat and stuck the baby mice back in the freezer. Taking off his gloves and washing his hands, he stepped out of the lab and into the small cafeteria at the end of the hall.

He selected a sandwich from the refrigerated section of the room. He grabbed a bottle of carbonated water.

Sitting towards the back, he opened the book he was currently reading. It was about statistics and American identity in the twentieth-century. He wanted to read up on the United States before he left, and this work seemed appropriate for his own research and interests.

In fact, he wanted to discuss it with Mal.

The author argued that Americans became obsessed with the idea of being “average” in the twentieth century, often to the detriment of their own scientific and sociological studies. Statisticians would ignore entire swaths of the population – usually marginalized groups – in favor of keeping deviant citizens in line with examples of a preferred “mainstream” of American culture and nationalism.

He thought about that, within the context of what he was doing for Mal’s contract. He himself felt much like the marginalized groups in the study – he, Lou, and Dee had certainly lived on the margins of their society for most of their childhoods.

What if this affected them in a profound, physical way? What if living on the margins impacted your DNA from a young age? Could it be traced?

Something like that could be useful for Leadership, he supposed. If he were able to come up with a unique angle, or some scientific accomplishment for the U.S., he might be able to stay. He might be able to become an American.

He never wanted to return to England, truth be told. He’d need to become an American citizen, if he wanted to stay past his Master’s degree. He was determined to make that a reality, whatever the cost.

Finished with his meal, he stood up and made his way back to the lab. Heading to his seat, he saw a note on the desk.

_My office – asap. -Mal_

He nodded to himself and turned to walk to Mal’s office. Maybe he’d bring his idea up to her. She probably wanted to talk logistics for the move to New York.

Walking down the hall, he turned left and stood outside Mal’s door. He knocked. She called for him to come inside.

He opened the door and was immediately taken aback by Mal pushing up against him and molding her body to his. He moved back against the door, roughly, shutting it with a slam.

His hands came up to her waist and he couldn’t help the moan that left him when her tongue was suddenly in his mouth.

Her right hand slowly ran up his chest and cupped his jaw as she kissed him. He kissed her back – enthusiastically. Perhaps too enthusiastically.

Mal rubbed up against him and her other hand crept downwards to trace his rapidly growing erection. He made a noise that was muffled by her mouth.

He didn’t have comprehensive sexual experience, to be honest. His past experiences mainly consisted of one-night stands and a handful of dates that ended in frenzied encounters in student residence halls.

Jareth was terrified that he’d mess this up. Mal squeezed him through his trousers again. He gasped.

She stepped back, looking at him like some kind of predator.

Moving towards her desk, she began unbuttoning the blouse she wore. She hopped up on the table and looked at Jareth. He felt stunned, dumb. He couldn’t believe this was happening.

“Come here, Jareth.” She used one of her legs to motion to the chair in front of her. Her heeled shoes touched the seat.

He did as she said, moving to sit on the chair. Her legs came up to bracket him, her feet lay on the armrests of the chair. He was hard to the point of pain; she was going to drive him crazy.

She bent her knees and let the skirt she wore fall towards her hips; a whisper of expensive fabric.

Her hand came up to the back of his head, caressing. Her fingers wove through his hair.

He closed his eyes briefly at the affectionate touch. Then her hands became brutal, pulling at the roots. Her manicured nails scratched, just on this side of pain.

“You know how to use your mouth, don’t you?”

** _Present – North of Flagstaff, AZ_ **

Sarah woke up later than the day before – around nine. She had a feeling both Lou and Jareth had been awake for some time.

She headed to the bathroom and brushed her teeth, thinking back to the day before. That hike she’d taken with Jareth had been…illuminating.

She felt like she was getting to know him more and more; every new piece of information she learned was another blow to the image of him she’d had in her head since she was fifteen.

It was troubling, but also freeing. It meant that she didn’t necessarily have to feel guilty about her growing attraction to him.

Even better, he said he was going to help her find Toby – she was beginning to believe that.

Exiting the bathroom, she headed to the kitchen and looked for coffee before she sought out Jareth and Lou.

The kettle and press were set up for her, so she set the water to boil and measured out the grounds.

Once her coffee was finished, she took her mug and sat at the kitchen table. She saw a note waiting for her.

_Walk outside and turn right to the backyard. Use the red door at the back of Lou’s cottage._

Her brows climbed at that. She wondered what they were doing.

Drinking the last of her coffee, Sarah put her mug in the sink and tied up her hair in a bun at the back of her head.

She pulled on a pair of shoes and walked out on Jareth’s porch and down a small set of steps.

The grass was still covered in dew and Sarah looked up at the weak sun as she trudged through Jareth’s backyard.

Lou’s cottage was small – Sarah guessed it was about a thousand square feet on the inside. She walked around the perimeter until she saw the red door and opened it.

Steps led downward; Sarah followed them.

She turned at the bottom of the stairs and opened a metal door. It shut behind her quickly, loudly, and Sarah looked around at the basement before her.

Lou and Jareth were standing on a raised platform covered with mats. They were boxing.

They’d glanced over at her entrance and Lou waved an arm, but both quickly went back to concentrating on their opponent.

Their arms were raised and Jareth was ducked a bit lower than Lou.

Lou was smiling, and quickly moved to the right, then left, jabbing at Jareth’s head and hitting his raised arms.

Jareth moved and hit back, landing a hit on Lou’s jaw. Lou quickly retaliated, moving both arms to rain a few punches on Jareth’s head and shoulders.

They separated and circled one another again. Lou struck first and went for Jareth’s face, sensing an opening.

Jareth ducked and came back to land a hard hit on Lou’s side, making her falter a bit and land on one of her knees. She cursed.

Jareth laughed and lowered his arms.

Sarah was now just below their platform and doing a polite clap for the two of them. Lou grabbed a towel and wiped sweat from her brow.

“Why don’t you get in here and teach Jareth a lesson?” She jumped down.

Sarah smirked and looked at Jareth, who raised his arms playfully. Sarah jumped in the ring; Lou handed her a pair of gloves.

Once they were on, Sarah came closer to Jareth. He seemed less playful now, eyeing her with trepidation. He looked awkward.

Sarah was laughing, he was so _cautious. _Usually, when Riley pulled something like this, it annoyed her. It felt patronizing.

Most of all, it made her feel like she wasn’t good enough to be a Sergeant Major – because she was a woman.

But here, with Jareth, it was almost exactly like when he’d walked on those rocks in the creek; it was like he was afraid for _himself._ Or for them both. She wanted to tease him a bit.

“Don’t tell me you’re afraid to hit a girl, Jareth.”

Lou laughed loudly. “Yes, Jareth, not after you just hit _me. _Do you think I don’t count as a girl?”

Sarah looked at Lou, smiling. Lou winked.

Jareth’s arms fell and he sighed, sharply. “You two can’t team up against me. I won’t survive it.”

Sarah’s grin grew. “Put your hands back up, pal. Get ready to lose.”

Jareth looked to the side and muttered something to the effect of _I was already prepared to lose._

Sarah began to move, circling him. He held his hands up and circled, as well.

She moved, feinting to the left. He moved with her, putting his gloves up. She got him on the shoulder. Lou made a noise of encouragement.

They went back to circling. Sarah lowered one arm and moved forward, but Jareth quickly caught her intent, pitching backwards.

As he came back up, Sarah moved underneath his arms and hit him in the side. He got her back and she grunted.

They came back up, both looking at one another with amusement. She didn’t think he was using his full strength on her, but he also still seemed afraid. That suited her.

Sarah made another move towards him, seeing that his defense was open. Her arm caught and tangled with one of his.

He used his own momentum to hit her on the side of the head. She couldn’t control the gasp that came out.

Jareth’s eyes were wide and he looked like he was about to apologize, but Sarah ducked underneath his arms again and used her full weight to slam into him.

He actually pitched backward – Sarah went with him. They fell in a heap on the mat, with Sarah ungracefully laying on top of him.

They both panted, staring at one another.

A piece of Sarah’s hair had come out of her bun, and she blew upwards out of her mouth, moving the strands out of her face. Jareth’s eyes tracked the movement and then came to rest on her lips.

Sarah found herself about to move forward and kiss him, but stopped. She looked up and around, searching for Lou’s mocking face. It wasn’t there.

Lou was gone – Sarah didn’t know when she’d left, but it didn’t really concern her.

She looked down at Jareth, who was still staring back. Before she could think better of it, she ducked down and kissed him, softly. She closed her eyes.

His tongue traced her lips to deepen the kiss, and she allowed it, opening her mouth. She tilted her head to get a better angle and moved against him, slightly.

Then they heard a loud clang from the back of the room. Sarah looked up, almost guiltily.

It was Lou, and she was indeed wearing a mocking expression, one eyebrow raised.

Sarah’s eyes were wide and she glanced at Jareth, whose eyes were still closed from their kiss. The only evidence that he knew they were being watched was his scrunched brow.

She hurriedly rolled off of him and got on her feet.

He sat up and looked at Sarah, seeming to ignore Lou.

Lou spoke up anyway. “So sorry to interrupt. Shall I head back outside?”

Jareth was still looking at Sarah, but responded to Lou. “Shut up.”

Sarah closed her eyes in a grimace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly, sincerely hate just about all forms of sports; I may or may not have looked up Tyson Fury boxing videos on YouTube to see how they even do it LOL.
> 
> The book Jareth reads about statistics and American hist. is Sarah Igo -- The Averaged American. It was on my comprehensive exams, and including it in my fanfiction is a trauma response.
> 
> Sorry if the flashback was overbearing. Next chapter should focus on the present.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “A profound love between two people involves, after all, the power and chance of doing profound hurt.” – Ursula K. Le Guin (The Left Hand of Darkness)
> 
> “…if we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known.” – Tim Kreider, “I Know What You Think of Me,” The New York Times

** _Present – North of Flagstaff, AZ_ **

** **

Sarah didn’t understand how she’d gotten here; the lab was stark-white and organized so much so that she couldn’t see a single thing on the counters or tables. She assumed the cabinets, on the far sides of the room, were filled with various forms of equipment.

It smelled like cleaning supplies.

She turned her head – at a sound? And saw the figure of a man, to her far right.

His shoulders were broad and his form was solid; Sarah knew who he was, even though it had been over a decade since she’d last seen him.

She tried to call out to him, but her voice didn’t work for some reason. He turned and exited out a door; Sarah followed his curled hair – darker now than when he was a child – and walked into a hallway.

No matter how many times she opened her mouth, words never would come and her voice was useless.

She kept following him, through linoleum-tiled halls and an atrium that seemed to separate the complex into two sections.

They walked up a stairway, and Sarah could have sworn she heard her own steps echo down the floors they climbed – couldn’t Toby hear? Could he hear her?

Finally, they exited the stairwell and entered a carpeted floor with doors on each side. Toby walked up to a door labeled _33 _and typed in a code. The door popped open.

Sarah quickly ran in after him, before the door could close. She spotted him in the foyer, taking off his sweater and shoes.

She looked down at herself, unsurprised to see that she wasn’t wearing shoes. She looked back up and saw him walking further inside the apartment.

Following him into what she assumed was his bedroom, she tried calling out for him once again. It didn’t work.

Toby was taking off his watch when he seemed to notice her.

He looked up, and a brief flicker of surprise ran across his features before he smiled. Sarah wanted to cry at the sight of that smile – she felt the tears fill her eyes.

She still couldn’t speak, but he saw her mouth _Toby. _His smile dimmed into something small and wry.

“You look just about the same…which is weird, but I guess you were already fifteen when I left.” He looked at her, and caught the expression on her face – it was one of anger.

“Oh, I suppose you’re right. I didn’t _leave_, did I? I missed you all, when they first placed me in the Program. I cried every night, until the other kids started making fun of me,” his laugh was only slightly bitter.

His eyes met hers. “After a while I got angry, first at the Program, the government...then at you and mom and dad. For not coming after me.”

Sarah’s eyes filled with more tears at that. She shook her head vigorously, willing him to understand and _know _that she’d been looking for him her entire life.

“It’s all right, Sarah.” His eyes were gentle. “I got over the anger quickly, when I really noticed the barbed wire and the guards they had surrounding the buildings.”

Sarah closed her eyes, partly in shame and partly in pity for what he’d gone through.

“Don’t worry about it, Sare. I found a place here – I began to fit in, eventually. Well…as much as anyone can fit in the Program…would you hate me if I told you that I missed you guys less and less, as the years went by?”

Sarah’s eyes opened. She shook her head, trying to communicate that she didn’t blame him.

“I found people to love, even in this place…” he trailed off, and Sarah noticed for the first time the pictures he had pinned to the walls and sitting on his desk.

One person in particular stood out – a tall man with bronze skin and green eyes.

Toby’s voice wrenched her from her thoughts. “I’m trying to do well here, even though I never made it quite as high as I wanted to, when I was first placed here. I’m not a politician,” he shrugged. So did Sarah.

They smiled at one another.

“I suppose I could see you and mom and dad if I wanted – I’m sorry I haven’t tried to get into contact.” His eyes were earnest, and Sarah nodded slowly. She tried not to let the pain show.

He seemed to sense it, anyway. “It’s not seen as…patriotic, to immediately go and see your family once you’re out of the Program. And in all honesty, I wasn’t sure what it would be like, to see you all again. I was scared – I _am _scared. It’s been over ten years.”

Sarah nodded again, the tears falling freely and without her permission.

She saw Toby move towards her, arms outstretched – she closed her eyes and felt his arms wrapping around her.

Then she woke up.

She was crying – or she had been crying. The tears were still wet on her face and rapidly soaking into the pillow beneath her.

Sarah sniffled and blinked upward at the ceiling a few times, raising her arms and wiping at her face.

That was probably the strangest dream she’d ever had – it felt _so real. _It seemed like she’d really seen Toby – all grown up, nineteen years old, working in a lab.

She willed herself not to cry again when she remembered his comment about missing her and Robert and Karen less. It wasn’t his fault – he’d done what he could to adapt and survive.

It still hurt like a bitch, though. She wondered if the _real _Toby felt that way.

She wondered if he’d welcome contact with her – especially if her current plan with Jareth and Lou was going to work.

She shook her head and looked at the digital clock to the side – it was just after seven in the morning.

Pushing the covers off, she threw on a sweater and socks and quietly opened her door to use the bathroom.

She heard voices down the hall and decided to listen.

“You’ve been talking to Dee daily, yes?”

It was Jareth – coming from the kitchen. Lou answered back.

“Every other day, more like. His radio can get a bit spotty, but it’s been reliable so far. I tell him that mother-hen _Jareth _asks about him on the hour, every hour.”

“Shut up, Lou. Is everyone settled and doing all right?”

“Yes, or it seems like. The local government was surprised to see them all at first, as you know. But things have calmed down.”

“And they won’t give away their position…”

“No, Jareth. And I did ask Dee about our arrival –”

Jareth cut her off. “We don’t know about that for sure, yet.”

“Why, because you haven’t discussed it with your girlfriend?”

There was silence, but Sarah heard a scoff and shuffling, and assumed they’d moved from the kitchen and made their way to the porch or backyard.

She quietly crept down the hall and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door softly.

Turning, she looked in the mirror and began washing her face. She was still processing the dream and that damned _kiss _with Jareth from the day before – now she had more intrigue to pile on?

It was an easy decision to file away the information about Dee for a later time. She’d ask Jareth about it – after they’d finalized their plans to speak with Toby.

Things with Jareth hadn’t been _that _uncomfortable after the boxing incident. The sexual tension had ramped up, sure, but there wasn’t much they could do about it.

Lou had been around for most of the afternoon and evening; plus, Sarah was slightly confused about where things stood between them.

They both had things to work through – personally and between one another. Sarah had _just _broken up with her boyfriend – via betrayal – and Jareth wasn’t forthcoming about his past or his motives.

She also still had whiplash from the rapid pace with which she’d moved on from hating him to liking him, within _days. _

The situation wasn’t ideal for the beginning of a relationship, that was for sure.

Sarah also wasn’t completely against keeping things just physical between them; yet she had to admit to herself that she wanted…whatever she had with Jareth…to be _more _than just sex.

She didn’t really know how Jareth felt – it was obvious that he was attracted to her – but Sarah was too afraid and conflicted to bring up the topic herself. She was definitely a coward.

Patting her face dry with the hand towel, she collected her toiletries and set off to begin the day with a cup of coffee.

\--

Sarah spent most of the day on her own, apart from brief interactions with Jareth and Lou.

While she’d been drinking her coffee, Jareth walked inside; he seemed surprised that she was awake before nine.

“Good morning,” he said with a smile. She smiled back and lifted her mug in greeting.

She shifted a bit to make room for him in the kitchen doorway, and he’d scooted past her, with his hand brushing against her lower back.

She’d tried not to jump at the casual touch.

He kept speaking as though he hadn’t done anything out of the ordinary, but Sarah could detect a look of amusement in his eyes.

“I have a few diagrams of the compound they’re housing your brother in – I know how much you like reading those.”

Sarah turned and placed her mug in the sink. “Could I take a look?”

“Of course – you can have them, if you’d like. I printed them off last night.”

He walked out of the kitchen and down the hall; Sarah assumed he was heading to his bedroom.

Jareth came back with a small stack of paper in tow and handed it to her.

“He’s living on the western side – past the garden. The interns work in that main lab, there,” he pointed to a large room in the diagram’s center.

Sarah was more than a bit shocked at how similar the layout of the compound seemed to the layout of her dream. She knew where Toby’s apartment would be, just based on what she’d seen while she’d been asleep.

The thought scared her as much as it thrilled her.

Jareth’s voice tore her from her concentration.

“Lou and I were going to walk the perimeter, if you’d like to come.”

Sarah looked up and shook her head. “I think I’m going to look at these, if that’s fine with you.”

He smiled and nodded. “Of course – by the way, I thought we could discuss logistics tonight. About contacting him,” he jerked his head to the diagrams. “We can plan for early next week?”

Sarah stood up straight and nodded back. “I really appreciate that you’re willing to do this, Jareth.”

He moved a bit closer, but seemed to think better of it. He just smiled again. “It’s no trouble, Sarah, really.”

She was about to turn back to the diagrams when he spoke again. “I should also tell you that Lou requested to cook tonight – she’s going to judge you on how you react to her food.”

Sarah raised her brows at that.

Jareth laughed. “I hope you can handle spice.”

Her brows stayed high. “I hope so, as well.”

His smile told her that she should prepare herself, mentally and physically. “And, if I’m not mistaken, Lou’ll want to play Jenga after dinner. Have you played?”

Sarah shook her head. His smile was almost disbelieving. “You hadn’t played Scrabble, either. I’m starting to wonder at your childhood.”

Sarah laughed. “I suppose it was really boring.”

Jareth crossed his arms and leaned against the counter. “Boring or not, I’ll have to water down your alcohol tonight. Don’t want a repeat of the last time.”

Sarah scoffed and tossed her hair back. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He just nodded in an exaggerated manner and pushed off the counter. He walked past her and Sarah bit her lip when his body brushed hers.

He turned back and his smile was mocking. “Of course not – see you in a few hours, Sarah.”

She waited until he left and closed her eyes for a moment, then turned back to the diagrams.

She’d only moved once Lou had come by to start making a curry of some kind, bringing the papers and spreading them out on the dining table.

By the time dinner rolled around, she knew every exit and every entrance of the compound. It was huge – she guessed that they had the interns and other personnel sheltering within the floors underground, during the current crisis.

She packed up and rolled the diagrams when Lou announced the curry was ready. Jareth walked out of his room and they both began setting the table.

Lou came out of the kitchen with the steaming pot and they sat down. They all spooned curry and rice into their bowls.

Sarah almost laughed at the intense stare Lou gave her as she took her first bite.

It was spicy – but not awful. She could handle it. Sarah decided to act as nonchalant as possible.

“This is great, Lou,” she smiled.

Lou glanced at Jareth and he seemed to smile with an _I told you so _expression. Sarah tried not to give anything away.

Lou’s face was placid when she replied with, “I’m glad you like it.”

They turned to the topic of making contact with Toby.

Lou pointed out that they had to work quickly, before Leadership announced the end of the nuclear crisis and allowed more personnel out on the road.

Jareth brought up the salient point that if they left _too quickly, _Riley and his team may still be on the lookout for them.

In the end, they decided to leave in three days. It made Sarah both giddy and terrified. She could hardly believe that she was so close to speaking with Toby.

Once they’d finished dinner and cleaned up, they sat down on the floor of the living area for Jenga. Lou poured herself a glass of wine and asked if anyone else wanted some.

Jareth rose a brow in Sarah’s direction. She rolled her eyes and declined. He declined as well.

The first round went smoothly, but Sarah could tell Lou was even more competitive than she was.

Jareth lost when the tower completely collapsed; Lou howled with laughter. Jareth just made a sheepish expression in Sarah’s direction.

By the fifth round, Lou seemed to be getting sleepy from her third glass of wine. She finally stood up and announced she was going to bed.

Once she left, a heavy silence filled the room. Sarah felt it weighing on both her and Jareth.

She found it difficult to look his way. She wanted to hit herself for being so afraid.

Just when she thought she couldn’t bear it any longer, he broke the silence.

“Sarah,” she looked up, and his eyes were focused on hers. She couldn’t look away.

“We…never spoke about what happened in the boxing ring, yesterday.” She kept staring at him, dumbly.

He continued when she didn’t respond. “If I’m reading your feelings incorrectly, if I’m not understanding –”

Sarah spoke up, “No, you _are _reading my feelings correctly. I – I _like _you.”

Jareth laughed, “You _like _me?”

“Yes!” Sarah threw her hands up. “Yes, in an _adult _way, I like you – and, and…”

He spoke, “And it’s against your better judgement, I’m assuming.”

His voice was light, but there was an edge of sourness to it – a brittle quality.

Sarah looked up at him. “Not against my better judgement – against my _initial _judgement.”

His expression seemed to relax, marginally. He kept silent, inviting her to continue.

She opened her mouth and let the words flow out. “When they took Toby away, I disguised my IP address and found your name under a news article talking about the FLP – I wrote it down in a little notebook my mom gave me.”

  
  
She paused and took a deep breath. “I stalked you, on the internet, for years. I read your interviews from when you’d graduated Columbia, I memorized your face, I _hated _you. I blamed you for all of it.”

His face was pained, but he made no move to interrupt her.

“When I climbed down those steps and walked into the Silo – and I saw _you _– I couldn’t believe it. After a couple days, I was even more pissed – I was attracted to you, you were funny, you _listened _to me, genuinely seemed interested in my opinions…. You weren’t anything like I’d imagine you’d be.”

He looked to the side, drily. She wanted him to understand how much he’d come to mean to her in the past couple of weeks.

She moved from her knees and came closer to him.

“I feel like…there might be more going on than just my own _initial _judgement. I know you have secrets…and I won’t push you for them. But I want to know you – understand you.”

Her hands brushed his face, lightly, tracing his cheekbones and lips, until his own hands came up to grasp hers and lower them. He held them in both of his hands and closed his eyes for a beat, opening them and taking a breath.

He spoke. “I need to get this out…I need to let you _understand_, before we say anything else. I like you, too,” his smile was only slightly mocking. The earnestness tempered it, took the edge off.

“As I said the other day, I knew why you disliked me in the Silo. I know that I’ve done awful things, contributed to a corrupt government, so that I could protect myself and my friends…”

“I couldn’t bear it, at first, that someone had seen me and knew what I’d done. That they could see through the mask I’d cultivated, the air of gentility I’d worked so hard to curate. Especially when it was _you.” _

Sarah sat back for a moment; a bit confused. His hands still held hers.

“You _not only_ knew who I was – not typical for someone in military – you seemed to hate me for it. I guessed it was on moral grounds. I found you interesting right away even outside of…” he vaguely gestured up and down at her. Sarah held back a laugh.

“And then, after that first night, I walked into the control room to relieve you of your watch. I saw you slumped over a _book _– a paperback book. So rare, these days.”

“Even more – it was a science fiction book I’d read when I was a teenager and had nothing. There was a quote from it I’ll always remember, about _never _making one’s love for their country a virtue or a profession.”

He looked to the side. “Well, I didn’t follow that advice. I made my hatred for my own country my profession and worked as hard as I could to curate a love for the United States, during my early adulthood. Then, I came to my senses and tried to leave that part of my life behind and atone for it, but you came into that Silo and brought it all back.”

“I absolutely couldn’t bear it. I wanted to know more about you and, most of all, I wanted you to know _me. _Really know me. I haven’t wanted many people outside my two best friends from childhood to look too deeply – it’s been a new feeling.”

He looked up at her then, released one of her hands, and reached over to brush some of her hair to the side and over her shoulder. Sarah tried not to shiver.

“I want you to know me, Sarah. But it’s not an easy transition for me to make – I’m not used to being open.”

She nodded. “Then we’ll take baby steps, together.”

He nodded back. “All right…” he trailed off and looked at her lips. His eyes flicked back up to meet hers.

He tugged on the hand he still held in his and Sarah pitched forward. His other hand slid further up her neck to grasp the back of her head.

The kiss was heated, desperate. His mouth was open and Sarah opened hers to let him in.

He sucked on her tongue and she moaned quietly. In response, Jareth tugged on their joined hands once again and pulled her so that she was in his lap, up against the couch.

Her thighs settled on either side of his hips; their pelvises ground together and they both gasped at the sensation.

His mouth left her lips to move down her neck; he bit down slightly where her neck met her shoulder and she gasped out loud again, jerking her hips slightly.

He grasped her bottom and ground up against her. Sarah moved her own hands from his chest to slide underneath his shirt. He helped her move it up and off and he began to do the same to her, reaching the undersides of her breasts and teasing lightly with his fingertips.

She was about to tell him to take her bra off when they heard a noise. It wasn’t a noise they could ignore – it was somehow trilling and beeping and _screaming _all at once.

Jareth just took his hands from under her shirt, placing them at her waist, and muttered, “_Fuck.”_

She looked down at him, half-dazed. “What the hell is that?”

“It’s not good,” he replied, slightly out of breath.

She got off of him and they both stood. He made his way down the hall and looked back, beckoning for her to follow.

The noise was coming from his bedroom, and Sarah tried not to look around too obviously when they stopped in front of his computer.

Jareth typed in his passcode and clicked on the flashing notification to the far right. Reading it quickly, he turned back to Sarah. His face was grim.

“What is it?” she clenched her fists, expecting the worst.

“Leadership just lifted the crisis command – everyone, except civilians, can come out of shelter.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone catch the meme-quote I posted at the beginning? Maybe embarrassing, but I love that Tim Kreider quote from the NYT. I think about it a lot.
> 
> I'm also posting this perhaps too quickly (and when it could use some editing, I'm sure) because I might be having some computer issues in the near future (it's not charging currently). Fingers crossed that it's just the charging cable and not my entire computer!!!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the adult-type conversation b/w two people who need to work on their adult-type communication. I can very confidently promise you smut in the next chapter, once my computer is a-ok.
> 
> xx


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sincerely apologize for the delay on this chapter. Hopefully it being a long-ish chapter makes up for that. I edited it super quickly, so hopefully it's not riddled with weird errors. & We have smut!

_Present – North of Flagstaff, AZ_

Sarah’s mind was racing. _Everyone, except civilians, can come out of shelter._

Leadership and military would be out on the roads – they could be manning their usual border checks, out on patrol, _right this minute._

It was difficult to contain her disappointment and think things through rationally. She’d had a dream about Toby; she’d been so close to seeing him.

Then her mind went to a more logical place – if they’d just lifted the crisis command, military units wouldn’t be perfectly organized. She might have time to make it to Toby’s lab, if she acted quickly.

They didn’t have three days. But leaving now would be risky.

Was she willing to put Jareth through that? He was on the run, too. And probably in more trouble than she was.

She didn’t want to mess up his life more than she already had. Sure, he’d had his own problems before her, but protecting her like this couldn’t have helped.

She cared about him too much at this point. She would need to leave on her own.

Thinking in-depth about her new plans was thwarted, however, by the current circumstances.

She was still standing in Jareth’s room, next to his computer, still slightly riled-up from kissing him a minute before, and staring at him. Silently.

“Sarah?” Jareth prompted.

He was cut off from speaking further when a loud _banging _noise sounded from the other side of his room.

They both turned towards the interruption and Jareth crossed the floor in a few long strides.

He paused for a second, though, and grabbed a button-down shirt from an armchair and threw it on.

That was when Sarah realized the back of his room was dominated by a sliding glass door. Someone was knocking on it.

He moved the curtain a bit and opened the door, just enough for Lou to slip inside.

She entered the room and nodded to Sarah, who had to shake herself before nodding back. She looked Jareth up and down a moment; Sarah wondered if she noticed his outfit change.

Lou flopped into one of the armchairs at the far right of the bedroom and made herself comfortable. She glanced up at the two of them.

“Well,” she spread her hands wide. “My computer’s gone wonky. Tell me what happened – obviously we haven’t been nuked.”

Jareth rolled his eyes. “They’ve lifted the crisis command – Leadership and military are resuming normal operations.”

Lou uncrossed her legs and looked at Sarah. “That throws a wrench in our little mission, doesn’t it?”

Sarah tried not to let her annoyance show, but she was sure she failed with her sharp tone. “A set-back, yes, but not insurmountable.”

Before Lou could answer, Jareth cut in. “She’s right. We just need to amend the plan.”

“How so?” Lou looked at them both. “Our success hinged on the crisis keeping Military and Leadership in their barracks and out of our hair. If they resume normal operations, that’s going to bring border checks, personnel, and too much manpower for us to deal with.”

Sarah blew air out of her nose in frustration. “If I went right now, alone, I think I could make it. They won’t be too organized and I could slip through undetected.”

“I can’t let you do that, Sarah.” She looked up at Jareth’s earnest face.

He continued. “Lou and I gave you our word – we’re in this together. I have some access to your brother’s lab and a few potential connections. Lou has the pilot’s license, in case things go badly. We need to do this as a team.”

Lou spoke up again. “We can’t go right now – we need time to plan and gather supplies. I also wouldn’t want to leave now without a bit of reconnaissance.”

“If we wait too long, they’ll be ready for us,” Sarah’s eyes were wide; she wanted to convey the urgency she was feeling.

They both appeared unmoved.

Jareth spoke first. “I don’t think they’ll be able to mobilize all that quickly. If we stick to the three-day timeline, I think that’ll give us the time we need to strategize _and _the government won’t be terribly cohesive yet. Otherwise, it’s too dangerous.”

Lou nodded. Sarah felt her throat constrict, but attempted the gain control of herself.

She jerked her head in a reluctant nod. If they wouldn’t agree to go right away, she’d have to slip out alone. It was the only way.

“All right. That works.”

Jareth didn’t seem entirely convinced, and like he wanted to say more, but Lou slapped her knees and stood up from the chair. “That was exciting, but I’m dead tired and have to get back to bed. You two play nice.”

She crossed the room and slipped out the sliding glass door, again leaving Sarah and Jareth alone.

Sarah felt like she had only an hour before, when they’d been alone after Jenga. She didn’t want to look at him, so she resolved to stare angrily and resentfully at his computer.

Jareth’s voice cut through the silence, quiet but impossible to ignore.

“Do you remember when we made bread?”

She blinked at the sudden question. She looked up from his computer.

“In the Silo? Oh yes, definitely. That was the night I got drunk, lost at Scrabble, and practically threw myself at you.”

His laugh was genuine and cut some of the tension in the room. They were finally looking at one another and smiling.

“What if we made some right now?”

She scoffed, about to ask _why in the world_ but stopped herself. Making food tended to calm her down.

She needed to start packing before she snuck out and left to find Toby, but she had all night.

“Okay, let’s make some bread. Do you remember how to proof the yeast?”

She’d taught him in the Silo, and after two failed attempts, he’d managed to make some of the foamiest yeast she’d ever seen.

His mouth pulled up on one side. “If I don’t, you can punish me by withholding the finished product.”

She started walking out of his room, laughing as she bumped into him a bit. “I’m not that cruel.”

They made it to the kitchen, with Jareth starting on the yeast and Sarah measuring out ingredients.

She made him knead to her satisfaction and place the ball of dough in an oiled bowl.

Looking at the clock on the wall, Sarah glanced at Jareth. “It needs an hour or so to rise.”

He nodded back and turned to sit at the dining table. Sarah followed him and hopped up onto the table itself, feeling much more relaxed.

She placed one of her feet on the side of the chair he was sitting on.

He looked up and raised a brow but smiled, resting his forearm on her thigh. Sarah leaned back a bit on her elbows and swung her other leg idly in the empty air.

“Do you feel better?”

She smiled. “I do. How did you know making bread would cheer me up?”

He paused tracing random patterns on her left thigh. “That was the first time I felt you were really genuine with me – when we baked in the Silo. I figured it was because you were happy.”

Sarah smirked. “I was also drunk.”

Jareth gave her a look. “That was well _after _the baking and you know it.”

“I do – thank you, Jareth. That was really thoughtful.”

He was still touching her leg, and she was struggling to contain the small jolts of arousal it was sparking in her. He stopped to flex his hand, and she noticed it almost spanned her entire thigh.

He looked up and she moved one of her arms to touch his hair, pushing it back a bit and combing through the strands.

He closed his eyes and she didn’t want to break the feeling of peace that had settled between them, but she was finding it difficult to sit still.

She sighed and spread her legs just a bit, trying to relieve the pressure growing between them. Jareth’s eyes opened and they seemed to mirror her own arousal.

Sarah opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She just started breathing a bit heavier as her hand settled on the back of Jareth’s head.

Suddenly, he pushed up on the hand not holding her thigh and kissed her.

Her hand was still on the back of his head, and she opened her mouth, feeling her tongue meet his.

He made a small noise in the back of his throat and moved to bite down on her lower lip, gently.

He spoke without fully pulling away, and she felt his breath against her lips. “How much time do we have?”

It took her a second to register what he was asking. She opened her eyes and looked at the clock again. “Forty-five minutes. But that’s not a strict timeline.”

He let out a huff of amusement and she felt him move even closer; both of his hands came to grab around her ass and he lifted.

She squeaked in surprise as he carried her to his room.

Her arms wrapped around his shoulders and she kissed him again, before she felt him shut his door with a leg and drop her to the bed.

She bounced just a bit and laughed; he hovered over her and she saw him smile before he kissed down her neck and chest.

She’d been wearing a sweater that morning, but had taken it off once they’d settled down for dinner.

What remained was a tank top with tiny straps that Jareth was pulling with him as he made his way down her body.

Sarah gasped when he pulled down the cups of her bra and started sucking on her nipples. He alternated between her breasts; his fingers rolling whichever nipple he wasn’t focusing on at the moment.

He noticed the front closure on her bra and snapped it open. She helped him remove her top and bra, fingers moving to his shirt and working on the buttons.

She pushed his shirt off and leaned back down as Jareth went back to her breasts. He began to move lower, pulling down her shorts and underwear as he did so.

He settled between her legs and took one of her hands in his. Her eyes widened when he placed her hand on the back of his head and squeezed before letting go.

Her fingers carded through his hair again and she heard him make a noise of approval.

He parted her with his fingers and spread the wetness from her opening to her clit, rubbing lightly in circles. She moaned and spread her legs even wider.

Then she felt his tongue on her and she gasped; he drew her clit into his mouth, sucking, and she squirmed and whimpered – the feeling was too much.

She had to close her eyes at the sensation.

He backed off and moved his tongue to her entrance, switching so that his fingers kept rubbing in circles. Sarah began to move her hips, thrusting into his face.

She felt him groan but couldn’t open her eyes. She needed just a little _more_ and knew that she’d come, but couldn’t focus enough to ask.

That’s when she felt Jareth slip two of his fingers inside her and curl them. She moaned louder and opened her eyes.

He was looking at her as his hand moved inside her and his tongue lapped at her clit. She gripped his hair harder and felt him gasp against her and pause in his rhythm, but his eyes never left hers.

It was just a few more pumps of his fingers before Sarah felt herself clenching around them.

Her orgasm took her by surprise as she clapped a hand over her mouth to muffle her loud whimpers and the sound of her saying _Oh God_ over and over.

She felt her hand slip from his hair and settle down next to her own leg. Her eyes were closed but she felt him move to lay his head on her thigh.

She finally opened her eyes and looked down at him. Her breathing was still uneven. “That was…really good.”

He burst out laughing and crawled over her for a kiss. She could taste herself on his lips and moved her hand down to stroke him through his trousers.

She was surprised to feel how hard he was, but moved to undo his belt and pants.

He gasped when her hand reached in and wrapped around him and pumped; his hips started to move with her slightly.

They tossed his trousers away and he settled between her parted thighs. Her hand was still on his cock when his voice took her out of the moment.

“I, _ah, _can wear a condom.”

Her eyes widened, realizing she’d completely forgotten. She hadn’t been with anyone except Riley in years, and they hadn’t had sex in a while.

“I’m on birth control, and I haven’t had sex in months. I was clean before that…I don’t mind you not wearing one, if we’re on the same page?”

He nodded and grunted as she resumed moving her hand, pumping him into her and spreading her legs wider. “I think we’re on the same page, yes.”

“Good,” she turned her face upward to kiss him. She moved her hands up his arms and around his neck.

He kissed her back and rubbed himself against her. She made a noise in the back of her throat as the head of him bumped against her clit.

She was so wet from before that he glided into her easily. She sighed and moved her legs up to bracket around his hips.

He buried his head into her neck and one of her hands gripped his shoulder.

She closed her eyes and enjoyed the sensations of his skin against hers and the feeling of him moving inside her.

It probably wouldn’t be enough for her to come a second time, but she was fine with that.

Then he paused for a moment and pulled out, causing Sarah to open her eyes in surprise. “What?” she asked, out of breath.

She saw one of his arms move over her head and to the side. He came back with a pillow and placed it next to her hips.

“I think this might help – help me put it under you.”

She raised her brows but did as he said, wriggling and settling back on top of it.

He moved between her legs again, settling her ankles on his shoulders.

When he entered her this time, she let out a strangled sound at how intense the sensation was. He moved slowly, rhythmically, and hit the same spot inside her with each thrust.

“_Holy fuck_,” she bit out. His returning laugh was breathless, and his hands gripped her hips as he thrust a bit harder.

She closed her eyes again, feeling his fingers dig into the flesh of her hips, pulling at them, as he pushed in and out of her faster.

The sensations were building up within her, until it almost reached its peak. She heard Jareth say “_Sarah _– look at me.” and her eyes opened to meet his.

She gasped and gave a choked cry as she came, having to close her eyes again from the intensity of it. Her body shook and she squirmed from the waves of pleasure but Jareth held onto her through it.

It must have been seconds later that she heard Jareth groaning loudly; his thrusts faltered and she opened her eyes to see the pleasure dance across his features.

For a moment they just stared at each other, enjoying the sensations. Then Jareth pulled back and Sarah’s legs flopped down.

He held out his hand and she reached for him; he pulled her up and kissed her.

They were still panting a bit when Sarah heard him say, “Do you think the bread is done rising?”

She laughed and buried her head in his neck. He laughed too.

“I think it’s _been _done rising. Let’s go put it in the oven.”

She shimmied into her clothes and stopped in the bathroom across the hall before joining him in the kitchen.

He’d already punched the dough down and was separating it into two loaves when Sarah handed the pans to him.

She asked if he had tea, once the bread was in the oven. He made her something without caffeine and they leaned against the counter, touching from hip to shoulder.

It wasn’t long before the timer went off, and Sarah lifted her head from Jareth’s shoulder to take the pans out.

They couldn’t wait for the bread to cool down, so she gingerly cut them two thick slices and they retreated to his room to eat them with butter.

She sat on his bed, eating the last of her piece, wondering how she’d be able to get him to sleep so she could slip away and find Toby. She wondered if that was still what she wanted.

Jareth’s voice tore her from her thoughts. “Are you a nostalgic person?”

She turned to face him a bit more, setting her plate on his nightstand and sliding her arm underneath the pillow. “I think so, yeah…obviously I think about my brother a lot. I think about how things were before they took him away.”

“Were things good?”

She bit absentmindedly at the inside of her cheek, contemplating.

“I guess. When he was first born, I was really resentful and jealous of the new baby. But…once my mom got her big acting contract, I was with my dad full-time, and things settled a bit, I enjoyed the stability. Toby and I got pretty close, right before…” she trailed off.

“Right before he was taken,” Jareth finished her sentence. She nodded.

Wanting to shift the focus away from herself, Sarah asked, “Are you nostalgic?”

Jareth moved a bit. “I think I’m nostalgic for a life I never lived. Does that make sense?”

Sarah smiled. “It makes sense…do you mean like, a life in a novel? Or some stranger’s life in the past?”

Jareth made a humming noise before replying. “A little of both, actually. Obviously, I’m jealous of anyone who didn’t grow up with so much conflict around the world,” he glanced at Sarah, who nodded back.

Continuing, he said, “But I wish I had the life of someone in a novel sometimes, yes. Already plotted, a conflict that can be solved, friends and enemies clear.”

Sarah stretched and moved to lay on her stomach, pillowing her head on her arms. “But _you_, the character, wouldn’t know all that.”

He smirked. “No, but I suppose I’d have a measure of trust in the author.”

“So what you’re looking for is religion – some higher power.” she raised a brow.

“Oh, maybe. But I’m not sure I’m _without _religion at the moment. We all worship something.”

Sarah’s head went up a bit. “I’ve heard that before…someone else said the exact same thing.”

Jareth’s brow went up. “Smart person.”

She laughed. “I’m glad you think so. Your self-confidence is my favorite of your _many _attributes.”

His wink was quick, and smooth. “What about you? Would you want to live in a novel?”

She blinked, considering. “Yes, I think so. But I’d want to choose the novel.”

He smiled, wry, but indulgent. “Of course. Take your pick.”

“Pride and Prejudice. Something about the Regency era and the female characters’ lives of leisure really calls to me.”

He held up a finger. “But their lives were quite restricted, no? They lived at the mercy of their male relatives, at the very least. Certainly at the mercy of their class status.”

She gave a quick nod, acknowledging his argument. “Definitely. But…I feel like they may have had even more freedom than we do now, in a sense.”

He looked a bit incredulous. She laughed, lightly.

“I mean, think about it. Our governments have our DNA from birth, they use facial recognition and fingerprints to track us…there’s an _aptitude test _that determines if we have to help run the government. Do you think Elizabeth Bennet couldn’t have run away and lived a life of anonymity, if she wanted? Isn’t that true freedom?”

Jareth nodded thoughtfully. “You have a point. They still had to adhere to a host of social norms, though. What’s true freedom, then? Is it physical freedom – _literal _freedom – or freedom of expression? Selfhood?”

She hummed a bit, thinking. Jareth continued speaking.

“I read a book once, by some academic from the twentieth century, that talked about anarchy in the ASEAN region over thousands of years. The writer said that people _chose_ to remain stateless, to preserve their autonomy. They didn’t want to fight in wars for some distant king, or labor over some hydraulic project they’d never benefit from.”

Sarah whistled a bit at that. “Not belonging to a state is difficult to imagine.”

“I agree. I don’t think many of us, today, could contemplate that. But if we _could _do it – would we? Would you?”

She sighed before replying. “I would, yes. As much at Leadership sings its own praises, I don’t think living without a government would be as bad as they all make it out to be. I’m just not sure it’s possible.”

Jareth gave her a look that had Sarah wondering what he was thinking.

She didn’t have to wonder long. He spoke slowly. “There are some places, I’ve heard, that exist outside the current worldwide structure of government.”

His eyes held hers, and she stared back. “Where are these places?”

He smiled, and his eyes held a bit of mischief. “Ask me again another time. I’ll tell you.”

Her laugh was incredulous. “Why can’t you tell me now?”

“Because,” he began, still smiling. “I’d rather do this.”

He leaned in to kiss her and she immediately responded, angling her head to deepen the kiss. He soon broke away though, leaving her confused, until he began kissing down her neck.

Jareth went lower and lower, pulling her top back down with him as he did so. Sarah shivered in anticipation, before an errant thought almost took her out of the moment entirely.

_I’m going to have to leave him in a few hours._

She spread her legs and pushed the thought away, just as she gasped and felt Jareth’s mouth on her once again.

\--

He was asleep, and it was just after 3am. Sarah had moved out of the bed as silently as possible and thrown her clothes back on.

She was mostly still packed, so it hadn’t taken long to put her toiletries and books into her duffle.

Pausing at _Never Let Me Go, _she flipped Jareth’s sticky note from before and wrote on the back.

_I had to find Toby. Please don’t come after me. Thank you for everything & I’m sorry. -S_

She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and set about quietly making coffee. She’d found a to-go cup in his cupboards.

She’d also found a few protein bars and water bottles in the pantry. She hoped he wouldn’t mind.

Closing the front door behind her, she kept close to the back of the porch, not wanting to set off any lights.

She jumped off the side and ran towards the car she’d seen parked near the garage. She said a small prayer of thanks to every deity she knew that the garage wasn’t close to Lou’s cottage.

Now that she was in front of the car, she wasn’t sure what to do. She didn’t know Jareth’s personal access code, and didn’t want to risk the alarm going off.

She knew most cars still had keys one could use in an emergency. She cursed and hoped it wouldn’t be in his bedroom.

Sarah ran back to the porch as quickly and quietly as possible, searching around the area for a mat or somewhere Jareth would put a key.

She spotted what looked like a mailbox to the left of the garage. She slowly walked towards it and looked inside.

There was a key. She couldn’t believe it. She suppressed a whoop of triumph and ran back to the car with it in her hands.

She unlocked the car and got inside, setting the duffle in the passenger seat.

She steeled herself for the noise of the engine but was pleasantly surprised at how quiet the car was.

Guiltily, and with no small amount of regret, Sarah looked back at the house. It was dark and quiet.

She nodded to herself, knowing she wouldn’t want to put him in danger. This was _her _problem, and she knew he wasn’t responsible for taking Toby away. Not directly.

Pulling out of the driveway, Sarah drove into the night, only turning on the headlights once she was sure Jareth and Lou wouldn’t see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The book Jareth mentions is "The Art of Not Being Governed" by James Scott :)


	12. Chapter 12

** _Twenty-four years earlier – New London County, Connecticut_ **

** **

Jareth made his way across the Graham family estate’s grounds.

It was late spring, but the land still seemed to be holding onto the last vestiges of winter – melting ice and a light frost crunched underneath his boots.

He was almost to the aviary; he knew he’d find Mal there. It was her favorite part of the entire swath of farmland; the estate that had been in her family for decades.

Jareth had woken early to an empty bed and, upon further inspection, an empty house.

He was used to this occurrence when he stayed over at Mal’s apartment in the city – she was a busy woman, after all – but the realization that he was probably the only human in a ten-bedroom home in middle-of-nowhere, Connecticut made the sheets feel that much colder.

Jareth and Mal were currently at the estate alone. Mal told him that her parents, now in their seventies, disliked the cold New England weather at any time before Memorial Day.

Jareth thought it was more likely Mal didn’t want her parents knowing about…whatever it was they were doing. Whatever they were. Whatever they’d _been_, for almost a year now.

Mal made it clear it wasn’t a relationship. Not only would it be “frowned upon” at Columbia – not _strictly _prohibited, but still – she frequently liked to draw attention to the age differential between them.

There was only a hint of malice to it. She only used her age and knowledge against him sparingly; still, it made Jareth feel small and inexperienced. Especially when it came to their association with one another.

Mal had taught him everything he currently knew. She’d certainly taught him how to please her. She was vocal and exacting, in just about any situation.

Whether the same would hold true for any other woman he’d be with, in the future, Jareth would have to wait and see. He didn’t enjoy thinking about life _after_, or without her.

But it was inevitable. What they had wasn’t sustainable; he knew enough about his mentor to know that she moved quickly and frequently.

If she happened to move away from _him_, well; they’d never had a dull moment together. He supposed he’d have to be content with that.

Perhaps if he entertained the thought enough, it would stick. He doubted it and cursed his own weakness.

Drawn out of his melancholy thoughts for the moment, he lifted his head towards the rising sun as the aviary came into view.

The weak sunlight framed the building’s roof, casting a halo around it.

It really _was _beautiful. Everything about Mal’s life was beautiful; not only her physical attractiveness, but her homes, her possessions, her entire _lifestyle._

He wanted it for himself; he wanted to luxuriate in it.

Yet Jareth sometimes felt paralyzed by the realization that he had no way of fitting in.

Not only did he have absolutely _no _basis for comparison, he felt mocked at almost every turn.

Whether it was Leadership bigwigs offering Mal money – for a new lab, new equipment, continued funding for her projects – or the staid and imposing Graham family portraits staring him down in the estate’s hallways…Jareth never felt adequate. Never felt like he was standing on solid ground.

Mal told him once that he simply needed to _pretend. _

That was easy for her to say; she’d grown up in country clubs and with the constant security that comes from having a good family and vast amounts of wealth.

She’d lived a life most people these days only _dreamed _of. Or read about in government-approved literature on their electronic pads.

Once, while riding the New York transitway on his commute to the lab at Columbia, Jareth had spotted a young woman reading a novel on her handheld pad.

It was historical fiction; some froth about a girl who lived in the twenty-first century, went to university, traveled the world – things like that.

She studied the _humanities, _for God’s sake. Jareth almost laughed; he would have, if it wouldn’t have made him look like an absolute madman, reading over a stranger’s shoulder.

It was just so far from the way things currently were; not only did less than one-percent of the population go to university, degrees outside the sciences or engineering hardly existed anymore.

He paused for a moment and considered the prospect of studying something as indulgent as literature or history. He didn’t like that it gave him a pang of sadness.

Absolutely useless, he thought. He couldn’t believe what Leadership allowed on people’s personal pads.

His low opinion of the girl’s reading choices aside, her literary fantasy was not uncommon.

Plenty of citizens wanted higher education; their requests for university courses and certificates were periodically met with Leadership diatribes on _decadence _and unnecessary largesse.

What Jareth found particularly hypocritical was that children of the wealthy and powerful could attend university with zero problems.

But that hypocrisy wasn’t really any of his business – he was sure American Leadership had their reasons for restricting education for regular citizens. He often told himself this.

As he’d said, Mal’s life – drenched in privilege and influence – was something most could only dream of. Or read about in novels.

And now Jareth, because of his association with Mallory Graham, had a taste of that dream. It would be intoxicating if he weren’t so terrified of appearing like the outsider he was.

These thoughts occupied him until he reached the aviary’s doors. They swung open on smooth, motorized hinges – the warm air fanned around his face in welcome.

He heard the quiet shuffling and pacing of the owls in their pens – the birds unnerved him, if he were being honest.

They had sharp talons and beaks – it contrasted too harshly with their sweet faces.

Mal’s favorites – the eagle and snowy owls – sat in the largest pens towards the front.

Their eyes followed him as he walked through the enclosure and into the outdoor hutch.

He passed the barn owls’ enclosure – he had a soft spot for those ones. They somehow seemed less intimidating than the others. Their white faces were beautiful.

Reaching the hallway’s end, he clicked open the small doors to the back. It was half-open to the outside, lined with wire and mesh, and the temperature difference made him shiver.

He found Mal there, cooing to a large eagle owl and stroking its feathers.

She looked up at the sound of Jareth’s approach, but the owl’s eyes had been upon him from the moment he stepped into the enclosure.

Her eyes lowered back to the bird but she addressed Jareth. “Did you sleep well?”

“I did, though it was disconcerting waking alone in a house that large.”

Her smirk was slightly mocking. It almost appeared indulgent.

It made him feel needy and childish. He felt ridiculous, complaining about not waking up together.

He didn’t know why he ever showed weakness in front of her. It was a lapse in judgement that he often found too powerful to resist.

He ignored the shame that bubbled inside of him and pressed on.

“What happens to the owls, when no one in your family is at the estate?”

Her smirk dimmed to something that might be called contemplative. She stroked the owl again, absent-mindedly.

“Oh, we have staff for that. Quite a large staff, actually. They maintain just about everything while we’re gone.”

Jareth looked around, as though he might see a groundskeeper or maid in the aviary. “I haven’t seen anyone else.”

“You wouldn’t. I sent them all away.”

His brow furrowed a bit, thinking sending the _staff _away was a little overkill. Was she afraid to be seen with him?

Mal seemed to sense his confusion, mingled with embarrassment, and dropped her hand from the owl’s head. She carefully took off the protective glove and set it to the side.

Walking towards him, she tilted her head a bit and smiled. Jareth knew that smile – it was charming and effortless, and brought men much more powerful than him to their knees.

He attempted to control his reaction to her – to appear unaffected. It never worked, no matter how often he tried.

He began to smile back, and his hand moved to her waist as she got close enough to slide her hands around his shoulders.

That kiss – the way she would begin so softly, then ramp it up until her tongue was stroking his own and her teeth were nipping at his lower lip – _that _was what always made it all okay.

He never felt inadequate when she was kissing him; he couldn’t get enough.

She knew that – sometimes he believed that she could sense and see just about every thought he’d ever had. It would be disconcerting, if he didn’t want to be understood so badly.

He wanted someone to understand him – to know him wholly – and choose him anyway. He wasn’t sure Lou and Dee counted.

Sure, they understood him, and knew him, but their associations with one another had been borne of necessity.

How would it feel to be chosen simply because you were _wanted?_

Mal pulled back and smiled again, softer. “I know why you were upset that I wasn’t there this morning.”

Jareth raised a brow, knowing that she was teasing him, and expecting him to play along. “Oh? And why was I upset?”

She kissed his jaw, and then his neck, and ran her hands down his chest. They rested on his belt, and her fingers curled underneath the waistband of his trousers teasingly. He breathed in sharply.

The look she gave him was her most seductive, and it never failed to work.

He could feel himself getting hard as her hand dipped lower and she sunk to her knees, still looking at him.

“Because I couldn’t do this when you woke up.” Her hand stroked him through his trousers, firmly.

He groaned, one hand moving to rest on her shoulder. The other cupped the side of her face.

Still smiling, she turned her face to press a kiss to the palm of his hand.

Then she moved to unbuckle his belt and open the fastening of his trousers. He moaned softly when he felt her reach a hand in and pump him from the base.

She continued to move her hand, drawing his length out. When he felt her mouth enclose over the head of his erection, he jerked and gasped.

Mal made a humming noise and began to suck, moving her head further and further down on him.

Her tongue caressed the spot beneath the head and he had to grit his teeth and focus on not grabbing her head and thrusting as far as he could go.

Watching his face, she saw his jaw clenching and hollowed her cheeks, moving even faster than before. He closed his eyes briefly and swore.

“Mal, fuck –”

She hummed again and then suddenly the warmth of her mouth was gone. His eyes shot open and he looked down to see her grinning.

“Not yet, darling.”

Of course not. It was never that simple with Mal.

In truth, he loved it. That didn’t mean he wasn’t desperately eager to get back inside her, wherever she’d let him.

She moved backward a bit and turned around, testing what looked like a perch. She rested her forearms on top and looked behind at Jareth. She tossed her hair over a shoulder, one corner of her mouth raised.

“Like this.”

Attempting to tamp down his eagerness, he moved towards her.

Hands coming to rest on her hips, he slowly lowered the cashmere sweatpants she wore. One hand moved lower to test how ready she was.

She arched her back and shoved her ass into him. “I’m wet enough Jareth. Just fuck me already.”

His laugh was light, belying just how willing he was to do what she asked. He continued to caress between her legs, holding her hips with one hand and restricting some of her movements.

“I can see that, Mal.”

Her noise of frustration turned into a groan when he took himself in hand and slowly pushed inside her.

“_God, _yes, Jareth. You know how I like it.”

He did indeed. Mal had specific tastes.

At times, she’d let him take the lead and dictate the pace; but usually, she’d demand that he start out slow and thorough. He’d listen to the sound and pace of her breathing, only allowing himself to dole out shorter and faster thrusts once she was panting out and moaning on every exhale.

Like she was doing now. And he was, as well. He felt her begin to tighten around him, until her cunt felt like a vice. That’s when he moved his hand from her left hip and circled her clit with two fingers.

She immediately made a loud, keening noise. His thrusts began to grow sharper and lose their rhythm.

Just a few more swirls of his fingers and he felt her clenching and pulsing around him. He quickly moved his fingers from her clit and grasped her hips once again.

When her moans turned into gasps, he drove himself into her harder and faster. He was close – really close.

Mal moved one of her hands over his and squeezed. That was the last thing he felt before he shoved inside her as far as he could go and gave into his release.

** _Present – Somewhere on the I-40, Arizona_ **

** **

The exhaustion was seeping into her, trickling through her consciousness. She knew it was a bad idea to make the drive to Toby’s lab on no sleep, but she was desperate.

She kept flashing back to hours before, with Jareth. Then thinking about that made her sad, so she attempted to turn her mind to other topics.

She kept wondering if it had been a good idea, leaving him and Lou to set out on her own. The internal debate was probably the only thing keeping her awake, at this point.

That, and the constant fear that she’d be caught by military patrols on the road.

She hadn’t seen any so far. Then again, she only had one state border crossing to do and it wasn’t for another seventy-five miles. She’d worry about it then.

In broad sketches, her plan was to use the access code belonging to one of the subordinates from her old battalion.

It could work, if two things were to happen: first, that the borders would still be automated and unmanned. Second, that no one would flag or find use of that subordinate’s code suspicious.

She was about…eighty-five percent confident in her success. After all, the crisis command had only been lifted hours before.

Driving on dark and desert roads was beginning to make her feel crazy. The landscape never changed and the sight of her headlights on the empty road felt hypnotic.

She didn’t want to pull over or stop for the night, fearful of being caught or losing time.

It was another ten or fifteen minutes before Sarah felt herself having trouble keeping her eyes open.

Suddenly, Sarah could swear she saw the movement of white wings coming from the northeast.

They were fluttering and beating so steadily that she was momentarily distracted. Her eyes widened.

She shook her head frantically and attempted to focus on the road. Whatever it was she saw…looked to be far off.

Just then she saw more movement, getting closer. This time, it was the white face of a barn owl coming _straight towards _her windshield.

She gasped and resisted the urge to swerve out of its way. She took her foot off the gas and moved her head forward, attempting to make certain of what she was seeing.

The owl swooped low and Sarah let out a shrill scream. Then, appearing to defy the laws of physics, the bird course-corrected and _just_ missed her car as it swept upwards into the dark sky.

Still driving, heart pounding, Sarah slowed the car and gripped the steering wheel with white knuckles.

_Maybe I’m too tired. That _had_ to have been a hallucination._

Nodding, still tense, she decided to turn off the highway at the first sign of a citizen shelter. She couldn’t afford to fall asleep at the wheel and crash.

It would be just a few hours, some sleep and a bathroom, and she’d be back on the road.

After about twenty minutes of anxiety-ridden driving, she exited and followed directions for an emergency citizen shelter five miles east.

Citizens were still under the lockdown order, so she shouldn’t have a problem staying the rest of the night in civilian lodging.

Under more normal circumstances – circumstances that didn’t entail her being on the run from the government – she’d be able to flash her military badge and gain entry, no questions asked.

She didn’t think that she was considered so dangerous that the military would blast her face around civilian establishments; besides, she really had no other option.

She supposed she could sleep in the car, but that would make her an easy target for patrolling military convoys.

Parking on the west side of the shelter, she grabbed one of her bags and stopped outside the entrance’s security camera. She glanced at the directions on the right.

_Hello, citizen. Do not smile; keep a neutral expression for verification and entry._

The building was built into the side of a hill – Sarah figured it went a few stories down, but nothing that could be compared to how deep the Silo was.

She pressed a greeting button to the left and quickly heard crackling static coming from speakers on the side.

“Name and city of residence?”

Sarah pulled her military badge from her pocket and held it up to the camera silently.

There was a pause, and then the sound of doors clicking open. She tried not to flinch.

Taking a deep breath, Sarah gathered up her bag and pushed through the heavy lead doors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter should be more present-focused (except I'm thinking of a tiny Toby-centric flashback). Toby/Sarah reunion may happen next chapter, if I can get through her night in the emergency shelter quickly enough.
> 
> Sarah may or may not run into Mal in two chapters. I'm so excited to write that meeting.
> 
> Uhhhhh....if anyone is following my other story, the next chapter is coming. That one's going to be very long, so I've been slogging through writing it. This story is a bit lower-stakes at the moment, so to speak.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed. & that you're all doing well :)


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